Holistic Conservative Economic Initiatives

Forgotten quick-fixes from that Great Recession

If we can just get the banks to start lending again surely everything will bounce right back

With a few less job losses our futures will all seem just as dazzlingly bright as they always used to

When the stock market gets turned around, everything will be just peachy once again

We’ll get the housing sector moving and then we’ll be back once more on our merry way

When we unfreeze the credit markets that oh-so vital consumer spending will rebound

If we can just keep mortgage rates down good old real estate can regain its momentum

We’ll see upticks in the RV, ATV, snowmobile and boat industries when confidence returns

Families can drive to Disneyland in new Cash For Clunkers cars while paying record low gas prices

We’ve got to hold the line on utility costs so homes can be kept at 65º all summer long

Subsidizing without any strings attached the institutions we deem too big to fail should get us moving

If we can just reduce lender uncertainty over possible regulations, credit will flow freely again

We can get back to mid-morning lattes and eating out 3 times a week under such bold initiatives

Stopping well shy of any real reform will help keep the sainted investment banks afloat

We cannot threaten a fragile recovery with the ominous shadow of intrusive government regulation

Printing scads of new money should jumpstart our sacred and all-important economy, once again

If we can just get retail sales moving our cycle of consumer borrowing on Asian imports can resume

If we can just get the economy back on track, we may even be able to take up some other issues

Granting federal money at 0% interest will surely convince the big banks to lend once again

We’ll also go ahead and guarantee the loans they make with the money that we give them

Right now we just need to remain totally fixed upon increasing GDP for this current quarter

Retaining focus on core economic issues must remain our single most important priority

If we can just boost consumer confidence they’ll save us by charging more imported big-screens

We’d like to see the tweenie mall spending rate start bumping upwards once again

Jittery markets just might stabilize with massive infusions of new cash, so we’ll try it

After all the bailout have been distributed, we might even discuss gaining control of the deficit

With a little more time, surely the free market will develop a profitable healthcare solution

If we can just remove their debt, dealer and pension obligations, car builders will flourish

Postponing expensive emissions actions for just a little while will give us some breathing room

We simply need to calmly stroke those jittery markets with gentle and reassuring financial voices

Those flighty hairdressers and decorators who control stock prices just hate all this uncertainty

Providing the merest bit of economic light should quash this unproductive consumer saving trend

If we can just get back to spending more than we earn, surely we can go on living happily ever after

It Ain’t My Libtard Place

How you choose to burn the fuel you’ve by God paid for ain’t no freekin concern of mine

It ain’t none of my business how much noise your gas-powered toys jam down everbody’s ears

I shouldn’t mention that your emissions foul the air for myself and all of our descendants

I just need to shut the fuck up about your so-called recreation destroying our precious national lands

It ain’t my place to say you don’t need a shoddy but retail-outlet-sized house for 4 people

Who am I to tell you to help curb overpopulation by limiting your precious children?

How dare I suggest our traditional values to be merely some recently ginned-up political advertising?

On which socialist authority do I demand that you lose a few pounds of your pseudo-muscular fat?

I shouldn’t say that we don’t have a god-given right to cheap goods made by asian slave labor

By whose socialist decree do I try and make you go out and do some boring and stupid exercise?

It takes me a lot of gall to say your kids should learn grammar and spelling before they start texting

How dare I put the ecosystems that support us all in front of your good jobs and family welfare?

It ain’t my business if you choose to use your idling truck for an overweight personal air-conditioner

By what right do I ask you to turn down the music after you paid to get into this here campground?

it takes me a lotta cowardly nerve to say that we need to drastically reduce military spending

It’s way elitist of me to contend that you’ll only ever fight global warming with your thermostats

It ain’t my place to criticize a bailout for your over-leveraged, underwater home loan

Who gave me the authority to demand that you drive some skinny vegan electric car?

Why should I think you should take interest in world events instead of watching NFL and NASCAR?

I got no right to make you give up double meat bacon cheeseburgers or yer 40 oz, Mountain Dew

It ain’t my business that you drive alone to the cube farm in an SUV built for 8 obese adults

How dare I to mutter yer one true god don’t bless America and we really ain’t his one chosen people?

It ain’t any of my concern that Ponzi finance traders make 19000 times more than average folks

Why should I actually care if the future is over-populated, strip-mined, poisoned and always at war?

It ain’t my job to preach that we used up the resources needed to pay the debts we leave behind

Who am I to judge our closeted corporate leaders who may well be full of eternal wisdom?

Why would I think farmers know better than bonus-driven BigAg execs about sustainable methods?

What gives me the right to reset economic priorities based on junk science and fuzzy math scams?

I can’t arrest you for dropping your food wrappers and smoky butts wherever you see fit

It ain’t up to me to get all in up in your face about your comically-wornout, fairytale religions

Nobody appointed me to tell you that you waste all our resources just wasting your precious time

How can I even dare to suggest that them krauts and frenchies might possibly even have a clue?

Who told me I could pester you with this socialist nonsense of climate change and mass extinctions?

It ain’t my place to bore you with trivial details when there’s something good on the big screen

What the hell was I thinking anyway, trying to tell you what’s right and wrong for you to eat?

No need to listen when I say either all of god’s life forms have a soul or none of us actually can

Veil Of Marketing Illusion

Ongoing deep discounts, sales, clearances and special offers build a sense of permanence

Continuous anticipation of quickly-forgotten weekends, holidays and vacations sustains us

The very newest constantly beckons us forward into a quite-obviously, endless tomorrow

A thousand advertisements draw each of us warmly into that timeless consumer firelight

Soothing background music hypnotically imprints us with eternal marketing mantras

Careful spins reformat issues into sound bites that the average 3^rd grader can easily digest

Within this media immersion, we dream ourselves passing thru eternity at these daily lives

Homogenized spokesmen blend seamlessly to envelop us in an easily-accepted and secure cocoon

Our lifestyles have reached a permanent climax in the pleasure-seeking 3 minute present

We pre-consciously dismiss evidence contradicting the eternal happily-ever-after diorama

The circle of family and friends bonds us tightly to a shared dream of unending belonging

The void lies almost totally obscured and unconsidered behind our colorful veil of illusion

We need only strive thru all time at becoming the beautiful models their ads portray for us

The infinite circle of merchant-stoked holidays fosters in us a comforting notion of immortality

Together we tread the great wheel of relaxation, refreshment and entertainment

And our bright mega-churches finance a seamless transition to a familiar eternal paradise

Next week’s episodes draw us forward smoothly without any static-filled interruptions

Stopping to smell the roses as we grab the gusto while living for today totally occupies us

The unknowable actual number of our iterations allows us to assume we perform an infinite loop

Cuddly and warm images help obscure the sharply-tattered edges that we must rightly ignore

The afterlife is marketed as the ultimate in all-inclusive vacations in a truly eternal paradise

Those who pass away are expensively packaged for the exciting but safe trip to come

Our powerful mass hypnosis mostly keeps any consciousness of the eternal void at bay

The rapid pace of change obscures well the tiny hourglass filling in right over top of us

The nattering of bobbing media heads lulls us into a comfortable sense of security

Advertiser-safe news holds our focus adjusted safely inside the blinders they so cannily provide

The cartoon theme of Personal Responsibility keeps the disaffected securely in the game

Sacrificing our reason frees us from agitating contemplation of any cracks in the mirror

There is absolutely no reason to think that this consumer lifestyle cycle will ever cease

We walk this treadmill seeing a well-lit and unending path towards the happily-ever-after

Socialists and creationists equally shielded from the near absolute zero of utter black emptiness

Even on our deathbeds we rest assured of an eternal well-being within these shared illusions

Please Help The Bankers

‘To date, no executives have faced prosecution for the widespread mortgage fraud that fueled the bubble’ - billmoyers.com

We’ve got to help the bankers for they’ve always been here for us during our times of need

Stood right there fighting by our sides with us, whenever the financial seas got rough

Weren’t afraid to go to bat for us even if it meant going out on a limb in terms of their own risk

Had our best interests right next to their hearts as they wisely greased the economic skids

Helped ensure sure we stayed on track with the savings we needed for our retirement

Looked beyond their personal gain to the good of our families and our blessed land

Did not scan us merely for short-term profit potential but rather helped us as neighbors and friends

Most probably they often let deals go untaken if they did not help further community interests

Greeted us by name when we walked in and kept our home loans safely guarded, right here in town

Lived just like the other honest folks and had the same dreams as us normal families

They surely did not let computer models back at corporate HQ make their lending decisions

Now it’s our turn to help them out a bit so together we can all get back on track again

Weren’t blinded by greed for the outlandish bonuses given for ruining all of our futures

Didn’t wrap No-Income, No-Job, No-Asset loans in fake TripleA tranches to sell to insurance trusts

Wouldn’t pay clueless 20 something, so-called, financial engineers millions for CDO con schemes

Never avoided all regulation by saying it stifled their creative innovation in free financial markets

Never crowned themselves as the best and the brightest, too-big-to-fail, masters of the universe

They certainly wouldn’t use gov’t bailout money for mergers while foreclosing upon their friends

Come on everybody let’s pull together: Banks are the circulation system of a healthy economy

Anyway, we all have some problems every now and then, so please, no finger-pointing

Neighbors at your local bank actually aren’t simply puppets of greedy New York financiers

They didn’t give themselves billions in bonuses for gambling on dicey hedges and derivatives

Wouldn’t help themselves to bailout money bonuses while tightening up on your loan standards

We must help them or, as they say, it will get so much worse than you could ever imagine

Weren’t so foolish as to leverage all of us into bankruptcy based on a voodoo finance risk model

But you really can’t blame them for taking some advantage of artificially low interest rates

After all, their own loans didn’t ratchet up out of sight even before the ink was printed on the paper

Oh, no, it wasn’t them that hid old car debt in new and already underwater auto leases

They never masked home equity loans covering credit card debt as profitable re-financing plays

It wasn’t them who drove the market for penthouses and luxury goods sky high with their bonuses

They didn’t immediately dump un-scrutinized loans for a fat profit and then totally disown them

They would never have made billions hedging heavily on the failure of their very own investment funds

Our town bankers wouldn’t grant loans without credit checks and income verification

Their CEOs didn’t hide trillions in unregulated CDOs and under-audited derivatives

They didn’t collectively freeze up in fear that their peers’ secret assets were also worthless

We must help the bankers now because it’s certainly obvious that they would do the same for us

Hello, Habla Freaking Inglés

Don’t need to pay for your damn translators at the hospitals and our clinics

Traiga un amigo si no lo comprendes

Don’t want all the signs to be in multiple languages

Mira el televisor en inglés y puedes aprender

Cant afford to pay extry ta teach yas in Spanish at our underfunded schools

De todos modos, tus niños no han sido los mejores de estudiantes

And where’s the benefit to all of society, any damn way

Se cuesta mucho y se divide los ciudanos, pero no vale nada

You got no right to illegally enter and then make us use yer stupid language

Mis abuelos fueron de Europa, pero nosotros hablamos solamente inglés aquí

Hey, but go ahead and preserve it among yourselves as much as you want

¿O son Uds. simplemente perezozos?

Hear spanish for stuff to buy, but not when working with, or for, the government

Y no tienes que hacer negocios con gente que no hablan español, si no quieres

Or are you simply stupider and lazier than all the other previous immigrants?

Nosotros no teníamos la excusa que no había tiempo para aprender

We don’t need 2 languages, we have one and it’s already the world’s lingua franca

Desde que tus español no es de alta calidad, ¿porque no aprendas buen inglés?

You got way too much nerve, trying to carve out a separate society right here among us

No necesitamos un invasíon de tus cultura campesinos, ya tenemos bastante problemas

Look, we’ll adopt a few phrases and what not, but you gotta to assimilate into English

Esta no es una regla nueva directada unicamente contra Uds.

If they speak multiple languages where you came from, what were the benefits?

Y, si tienes que ir al otro pais para trabajar, tendrás la lengua que habla todo el mundo

Hasta la vista

God Granted Me This Fairytale Serenity

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”

I note, freed of that dark anxiety, the global mass extinction our over-existence nurtures every day

Calmly I accept the reality of a hotter, drier, dustier and dirtier world, where we all must live

No more do I trouble my mind over CO2 levels to which I must contribute but cannot control

I pursue zenlike tranquility, emptying my mind by flipping channels thru potentially anxious nights

Unregulated exotic chemicals in our drinking water can no longer disturb my meditative state

I placidly accept the degradation, poisoning and erosion of our precious soil by industrial agriculture

Loss of habitat does not threaten me, as I twitter safe and warm here in my techno-burrow

I gaze into that hazy and starless urban night with what I can construe to be a quiet satisfaction

There is a blind equanimity to be found in simply ignoring the poverty and suffering of others

Deep media immersion smothers and deafens any anxiety which might falsely overcome me

In a benignly-induced trance, I emptily partake of our grisly and unsustainable food chain

Verily does my true spirit rise above the ever-knottier cluster constituting our irreversible advance

God granted me the serenity to shut the hell up, bend over and take all that which I cannot change

I sagely accept that selfish vanity, greed and insecurity are key traits of modern day leaders

Endlessly repeating the simple mantra of You Cant Stop Progress properly spins my spiritual journey

I quietly condone piling debt on their futures while we waste the resources they need to pay them

I have learned that worry over our huge number of self-inflicted crises is but a false shibboleth

I can rightly get on with the future and leave our guilty past behind in a jumbled, half-forgotten blur

It is with a certain calm that I adapt the insensate gouging of good croplands into cheap stripmalls

My health and happiness have been enhanced by letting go my fuzzy and unrealistic youthful idealism

Trust in the wisdom of His inscrutable way has banished the awful uncertainty which beset me

I am able to drive right on past our decaying infrastructure without even a second thought

A vision of the seas as stripmined, unregulated dumps can no longer perturb my cauterized emotions

No more must I futilely obsess over our sacred, morbidly-bloated, utterly-wasteful military budget

I lost fear of bearing personal-responsibility for my own uninsured health and scam-complex finances

I simply cast aside the burden of wasted anger over our people’s ignorance, illiteracy and attitude

That I must work until at least 70 but will be laid off for good at 50 no longer fills me with dread

With the sublime detachment granted me by my meds I disassociate myself from humanity’s future

I have made a lasting peace with all the eternal, random, angry and empty noise we produce

Internalizing the temporal nature of our vast wastefulness allows me to see far without seeing it

Accepting our unique possession of eternal souls has revealed the wisdom of our divine dominion

Now I can embrace my tenured dull manager who remains willfully ignorant and bristles with venality

I can blandly cope with their artificially-induced stress over arbitrary deadlines on useless projects

I have been imparted the ability to disagree with a silence that they act upon as my tacit acceptance

It has come as a relief to see how easily I place ever more on that big pile of things I cannot change

God has granted me the wisdom to overlook, ignore, compartmentalize or be far too busy for

Their Phony Ecological Concern

So we buy a couple pockets of old-growth big tree forest and turn them into monuments

We’ll clean up one or two token rivers and plant a few fish and take many pictures

We can do a couple of clean coal projects and print a hopeful pamphlet on recycled paper

Maybe we could subsidize a model green suburb with garages back behind, in the alleys

A proof of concept community school or two should keep their expectations in check

We can publish voluntary standards on protecting croplands and leave agribusiness to self-regulation

We’ll study the decline and mutation of the frogs and make toothless scientific recommendations

Maybe publicize power plant mercury emissions so that industry voices a cleanup commitment

We’ll force cars to be 90% more clean and efficient, then put twice as many on the road

We’ll save threatened wonders by opening them to the miracle of corporate tourism

We’ll make cleaner snowmachines and ATVs and ask them to please stay on the trails

We’ll strive to recycle more paper to China to make our import packaging even cheaper

Some stamps with pictures of endangered songbirds will demonstrate our great concern

It’ll be far cheaper to say we are raising people’s awareness rather than taking any real action

We can pass more landmark legislation and then quietly fail to deliver on the funding, once again

We’ll slowly adapt our children to dirty water, fouled air and a squalid, littered over-population

We’ll call for comprehensive reform, created by lobbyists, and then poison it with unrelated pork

We’ll un-muzzle our scientists but let our corpro-media out them as wackos with clever soundbites

We can shout above the noise pollution that it is not an issue even worthy of any discussion

A greenish packaging change and an All-Natural slogan ought to keep our numbers up

Concoct phony market-based solutions to problems no free economy was ever meant to solve

Label it expensive and intrusive gov’t regulation and play it off against families, jobs and money

Showcase opportunities for a few starving children but don’t ever even mention slashing population

Talk of reducing emissions to 1990s levels like that would restore some kind of half-assed equilibrium

Promote a couple show species to star status even as our global mass extinction gathers speed

Propose a bulky, readily-subverted cap and trade scam instead of a simple carbon tax

Institutionalize calls for further study as a means for simply continuing on with business as usual

Contract out pre-determined research results and trumpet it loudly towards our own sales ends

Advertising our warm commitment to future, family and environment should gin up wide good will

We’ll trumpet a little renewable energy research while permitting more new coal-fired plants

We’ll say we’re good stewards but depend on higher property and sales taxes for our existence

Just ignore military recommendations and keep the bloated cash cow bases in our own states open

We’ll pay off liberatarian ranchers if a wolf takes a cow grazing for next to nothing on federal lands

Sportsmen will soon adjust to expensive, trucked-in, hatchery trout in dirty, drying reservoirs

We might restructure capitalism to factor in phony environmental costs to avoid socialist regulation

The MulltiNats will cure societal inequity by simply reducing all workers to a bare subsistence level

Certainly Mankind Is No Cancer

And there is a market-based solution for every ill…

Filthy, unplanned, sprawling slums girdling the worlds cities surely pose no global threat

This purported mass extinction does not implicate humanity in a bogus global holocaust

Those who view man as a plague upon their neutered New Age paradise deserve our scorn

Our growing population certainly does not threaten some storybook eco-loco balance

Aliens would not view the flowering of humanity as a swarming of maggots upon the earth

Our rightful ascendancy is wrongly seen by the green zombies as destructive and temporary

We are properly concerned first and primarily with the economies which feed our good families

War is not some outdated, insane societal flaw but an ethical, moral and genetic imperative

Man is no cancer spreading to threaten fairytale, otherwise healthy and stable ecosystems

Our progress is not intimately bound to the degradation of air, water, soil and biodiversity

Look, capitalism simply mirrors nature’s unassailable law of survival of the fittest

Socialist planning is not the answer to the overblown problems invented by the squishes

Our corporate fishing fleets certainly do not constitute some vast strip-mining of the seas

Worldwide rain forest timber harvests simply are not as destructive as a vocal minority claims

Spreading deserts and melting ice are natural phenomena to which we can adapt, if necessaery

Adding artificial taxes on emissions quickly taints the purity of the sublime free market system

Damming and channelizing rivers for water, flood control and power are not at all acts of evil

Blowing soil erosion along with heavy doses of fertilizers, pesticides and fossil water is not sinful

Our triumphantly-righteous spread is falsely viewed by whimpering vegans as totally unsustainable

Their twisted world view labels nearly all of our progress as some kind of malignant metastization

They would have our families crouch in cold darkness chewing on rotten organic vegetables

Our economic growth cannot reasonably be described as a blind and greedy self-destruction

Unlike microbes on Agar plates, human numbers are not governed by kings or natural resources

Their Chicken Little fables of earthly collapse are tactics to stifle our sincere efforts at progress

Providing honest clean coal energy at low prices to consumers is no crime against humanity

Eco scare tactics are mostly used to preserve their elite viewsheds and keep out the working class

Our civilization is certainly no scabby pox upon some illusory pristine and perfect earth

For the love of god, we must actually quicken development to feed our growing numbers

Human society is not some temporary destructive aberration which must soon disappear

Our survival is not intimately linked to that of the lower microbes, plants or even animals

We most certainly are not selfishly dumping problems beyond our abilities upon future generations

It is immoral to label the, likely only temporary, side effects of our progress as wanton devastation

Hey, we could all still be hunter-gatherers shivering in caves with barely fire and dogs on our sides

Our tools, society and unique souls have separated us from the beasts and there is no going back

The future generations they say we are abandoning will revere our works with awestruck wonder

So-called habitat destruction is actually the flowering of the culture ordained by our one true god

A Fable Of Vanishing Breeds

The snowmobiles are disappearin right along with the fluffy white stuff they was ridin on

Them ATVs ain’t near so snarly when daddy ain’t got no job to pay to have them play

Giant SUVs are fading away, unable to compete, just like the them brontosauri

Less drunken numbnuts on financed jetskis are showing up down to the ER ever summer

Spoiled tweenies scattering daddy’s money at the malls are hardly even seen these days

Only a few hardy climate change skeptics still fight on, armed only with their thermostats

Just the rarest free market healthcare blathering is still heard outside of libertarian radio

Fat, damn, pushy, multi-minority women managers are fading away, right along with our prosperity

Shiny, porky, spin doctors on pain meds may finally lose their grip upon our consciousness

But them failed and wornout liberal socialist policies of the past are forgotten just as well

Cosmetically-enhanced parasitic real estate agents in shiny new cars are disappearing

Greasy lying car salesmen are drying up standing around outside closed down dealerships

Itchy apartment cowboys have gunned way-loud, ugly pickups off into a last bleary sunset

Dumbass Harleys are finally going blissfully silent with their loans so far underwater

Even effete luxury yacht owners are scuttling their crafts due to these awful economics

Changing times are sadly grounding more and more useless, un-muffled, toy private planes

Some are even questioning the wisdom of paying $2-300 a month just for a phone

Petcare specialists are suffering along with life coaches, beauticians and pedicurists

We witness proudly-ignorant construction workers being excreted from the middle class

No longer do we hear of expensive solutions to the unsubstantiated issue of CO2 emissions

Cockamamie government funding of the arts and the children of the poor are disappearing

Half-baked notions of some green world have been dampened by the real needs of our economy

Sucking-up middle managers are morphing into overly-chatty but useless home store clerks

Bold credit card debtors try futilely to become balance-free deadbeats with no lender appeal

Our Best and Brightest who actually weren’t, look to start over at trading carbon offsets

Chinese peasant factory workers no longer enjoy 14 hour workdays and sadly return home

The mega-churches are scaling back on expansion plans and reviewing their portfolios

Ill-conceived and grandiose climate change mitigation plans have quietly been shelved

Socialist sustainability fantasies have rightly given way to cutting red tape to save family jobs

Newspapers are being recycled into alternate-fact blogs and corporate entertainment

Poor illegal aliens will shortly attain a majority and have bloodlessly taken all of our places

We have deemed institutions that have already failed us as too big for us to permit to fail

Secretaries are no longer buying rental units or doing quick fix-ups for fast-profit flipping

Far right wingers are finding abortion much more palatable for our Non-Aryan intruders

Squishy, vegan tree-huggers are finally seeing over-hyped organic foods as way overpriced

Looks like even gods chosen people have earned a place on the short list of vanishing breeds

A high self-esteem and vast sense of entitlement

We want stimulating and secure jobs that pay well with lots of free and untaxed health benefits

Yes, and my devotion to my children should be at least a partial criteria for my promotions

We need lots of leisure time to share with our families free from nagging financial worries

Don’t want OUR lives to be totally dominated by such boring demands as work and money

Have to be able to focus on pleasure-seeking and still be pushed up that organization

We should remain in line for fat bonuses without sacrificing our wired online souls

Our precious children shall remain as the first and most important priority of our lives

Wont sacrifice social networking for overly-long periods of like, focused concentration

Striving to fulfill ourselves with an unending list of quickly-forgotten adventure vacations

Still balancing work against life even though our jobs are so quickly being offshored, forever

We demand that we be accommodated - Even as they have us train our 3^rd world replacements

More fast-food family time in front of corpro-entertainment is what nurtures our spirits

We need space to assimilate the fractal twittering in which we have immersed ourselves

More and more we choose to chat online over struggling with whatever project schedules

A high self-esteem and vast sense of entitlement ensure that we maintain a proper focus

We need to balance this work life with high CO2 emission trips to extreme sports venues

The Music is important and streaming services are setting us free from tired office slavery

Just got to have an investment home but there’s no time to try and learn to take care of it

Looking for more, over the screaming kids and squawking media during our own free time

We demand a richly rewarding sex life, colorful entertainment and a good night’s sleep

Need time to shuttle children to and fro and it better not be held against me by the boss

Quite happy using a negative savings rate for all the best in life, which we so richly deserve

They simply must keep increasing our benefits without ever mentioning any higher taxes

No way are we letting our short and precious time here be frittered away on trivial jobs

If they expect me to learn some lame new skills they better be paying me to do it from home

Going to free up some home gaming time nuking instant dinners and setting paper plates

Look, my kids and family are what’s important but I’ll sue if I don’t get the raise he does

You might be my boss, yet I answer only to my personal savior during our private dialogs

You best care for Mother and insure my kids without some death panel healthcare takeover

Won’t fret over the fine print technical details if there’s a catchy sound bite available

Gotta balance my tired job, sullen offspring and lying greasy politicians with hyped media events

Looking for more than being a veal calf in some prairie dog cube farm, even if it’s in hi-def 3D

Went to a couple yoga classes and got a few cotton shopping bags around here somewhere

Wont see me end up eating and draining thru tubes that are changed out by low-paid immigrants

Eyeing a 300 hp hybrid and thinking about subsidized solar on top of my un-insulated roof

Looking way beyond the mundane rat race almost every Sunday down at our mega-church

So, you can tell I do see there’s so much more to life and that I carefully balance, Having It All

We’re Living Funny Lies

Being coptered to my safe compound, I actually believe I’m worth my millions in salary and bonuses

We assure our Offshored they need only wait for the better new jobs coming Real Soon Now

Driving my hybrid 90 miles a day feeling like, you know what, I’m really making a difference here

We fill cute green cotton bags with water-wasting, slave-produced food shipped thousands of miles

Violently rejecting taxation while remaining purposely silent on reducing costs or cutting benefits

Fleecing the faithful for money, power and sex, as sales reps for wornout and fictional gods

Pushing FeelGood sustainable solutions but never mentioning necessary drastic population reductions

Glorifying the infallibility of unregulated markets while whining for subsidies and import tariffs

Assiduously recycling all my paper for shipment to china, merely to package more plastic imports

Demanding a faith-based administration but shouting that the same government stay out of our lives

Hypnotizing the lower class with clever hate speech while on the payroll of the corporate elite

Knowing our God is love as we heed His jealous demand that we smite His heathen enemies

Plastisizing my car with earth-friendly slogans made in toxic sweatshops by exploited illegales

Feeding the world with a patented seed, genetically modified to require our costly pesticides

Abandoning old suburbs for that newly-bulldozed but carbon-neutral and greener tomorrow

Hard-selling funds we purposely stuffed with crap, even as we ourselves hedge big against them

Calling for an end to greedy development threatening the gorgeous viewshed from my own new home

Gouging the bourgeois with pricey lifestyle drugs as we ignore the global disease scourges of the poor

Hanging a cute puppy calendar right by the table where I lay out our tasty but tortured family veal

Deliberately warping all their proposed legislation while damning the deceptions of the other side

Howling for freedom from government even as we condemn its lack of quick emergency response

Rebranding an unchanged, business as usual as some new, patriotic clean-coal energy independence

Paying huge premiums for USDA organics uninspectedly coming from, of all places, china

Posing as independent cowboy heroes, trampling predator-freed public lands with our welfare cattle

Posturing obesely in a loud and ugly pickup that I certainly don’t need and really can’t afford

Trumpeting the virtues of a foot-dragging negativism to whip up an ignorant anger in the alt-right

Holding guilt-free to the decision made with my personal savior to smite religious fundamentalism

Praising our sacred Human Resources even as we plot to outsource them and renege on their pensions

Ever proclaiming our holocaust suffering while we wall the Palestinians into a hot, desert ghetto

Parroting your donor propaganda to reframe science into an empty and politicized media debate

Subsidizing Wall Street Cons to pimp phony carbon offsets and Ponzi cap and trade scams

Demanding soil conservation as I endlessly fertilize, pesticide, cut and water my fakely-green lawn

Rapping out that yes-yes, we can-can change: and backdoor dealing just like we always have-have

Grazing swinishly at the rich troth of absolutely unquestionable and ever-increasing arms outlays

Nurturing a fat, ignorant pride on Doritos, Twinkies, beer, generic cigarettes and cheap hamburg

Living the lie that it’ll all somehow make sense in the end, during some, real fuzzy, happy-ever-after

Israelis Invited To Build "New HolyLand®"

Hey, let’s have the Jews negotiate a sale of these so-called holy lands for petrodollars

Then they can build New HolyLand® on a land grant way down on southern Arizona border

Get their newly-unemployed soldiers to slap us up holy site replicas and patrol that border

And we won’t build no mosques and there won’t ever be no Palestinian Problem

We’ll invite all the Jews to settle out in our desert, which they should be quite used to

Give ‘em 2 years to settle things up and $100000 apiece to get out and get started here

We’ll invite the Christians to relocate their sacred stuff, too, but just to be polite

The Israelis can set up solar research labs, perfect electric cars and engineer clean coal

If we need to, we can concoct a miracle or two just off Interstate-10, to really get things rolling

Then we’ll see what kind of a paradise the Arabs can produce without either us or the Jews around

The old Israeli defense establishment can sell not quite state of the art arms to their former enemies

And the astute Jewish financiers can come up with great terms on the loans…

The Saudis can pay the tab for Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Yemen and Palestine

And we can just grin as the Shiites and the Sunnis demonstrate their great love for one another

Meanwhile we’ll gain our energy independence and leave Gulf oil for their stinkin camels

We can just laugh as ISIS, the Taliban, Al-qaeda, Hezbollah and Hamas all turn on one another

We’ll have the energetic Israelis here with nobody persecuting them, for once in history

Some can go to Hollywood and others to New York to take up mass media and high finance

They’ll be free here to keep constantly reminding us all of the holocausts they’ve endured

But we’ll get their creativity, their intelligence, their energy and their, uh, forceful opinions

Let the Arabs just go ahead and do what they like with those de-sanctified former holy places

Why, we’ll get some new-age old testament messiah to walk out of our own desert

It’ll be a righteously religious complement to that other desert monument known as Las Vegas

Listen, It’s been 60 years, so you just point to any real progress or a better solution

The terrorists will just run out of holy jihadic steam without the US or the Jews in their faces

Then we can fence them off and let them work their shining Sharia law wonders, or bomb their asses

And brother, any Jew who wants to remain must sign a release form and must be forgotten forever

It’s time we declare victory in this failed Crusade by taking our game somewhere else

Let’s just get over them dirty old places in the desert that all smell like stale goat urine

Here’s a chance for peace and the opportunity to build our own profitable New HolyLand®

Let them go and turn the whole damn worthless mess into one massive failed state

And we’ll build lasting memorials here to the innocents that their foolish martyrs killed

The Jews and the Mormons can compete to make the very nicest in desert living places

We’ll save so much money on imported oil that we’ll buy back our treasury debt from china

There’ll be expensive but safe New HolyLand® tours conducted by Jewish entrepreneurs

And, the Illegales better think twice about infiltrating our southern borders once the Jews arrive

Turns Out

Turns out there really were some reasons why we needed them silly bugs and birds and frogs

Now we see we should have been a little bit more careful with our once rich farming soils

It’s hard to believe that overfishing a few species brought on such a broad collapse

Who could have ever imagined that we weren’t actually our only one true god’s chosen people?

Guess we really should have paid just a little bit more attention to our crashing literacy rate

Turns out it was foolish to always spend so much building costly weapons and ginning up wars

Unexpectedly, it’s revealed that mergers and acquisitions were only for creating lavish bonuses

Despite everyone’s firm beliefs, that fabulous real estate bubble burst, just like all the others

Whoever would’ve thought the free market wouldn’t provide affordable universal healthcare?

Somehow we never noticed at all as we so rapidly tainted our vast stores of clean, fresh water

Turns out that our sheer numbers created problems too expensive and complex for us to fix

Wow, so those constantly rising temperatures really did mean something, in the end

Didn’t realize that sterile, bio-engineered moncrops would all succumb at once to identical pests

So surprised that filling the oceans with plastic particulates would collapse the marine food chain

Struck dumb by finally noticing that, when all the oil was gone, we hadn’t sought real alternatives

Turns out the bankers got it all so very wrong, even without burdensome government regulation

Turns out we shouldn’t have rolled empty credit card debt into our homes as often as possible

Why look at this, it really was stupid to pay $200/mo for phones and $150/mo for cable

Huh, so, snowmobiling, jetskiing and OHVing are actually destructive and not just family recreation?

Well, goddamn, those outsourced jobs don’t actually make way for the new and better ones for us

Maybe letting the greedy, vain and sociopathic be self-appointed Masters of the universe was wrong

Turns out that conglomerates could find it legal and moral to profitably adulterate their products

We never dreamed they’d lay us off forever at 50, in debt, with no savings, pensions or insurance

Cutting costs by blindly trusting outsourced, foreign ingredients wound up poisoning customers

Looks like giant, shoddily-built, energy-wasting McMansions might not be the way going forward

Stunningly, doctors and Pharma realized they made much more money on treatment than prevention

Turns out stalling safety regulations for more research always saved firms money in the short run

Later on, their own bloated estimates indisputably proved the problems were far too expensive to fix

Come to find out all our thousand tiny household sources did add up to a major pollution issue

How surprised we were to learn that double meat bacon cheeseburgers were not actually healthy

It seems silly that dutiful paper recycling was sent all the way to china just to wrap up more imports

Turns out the big banks were actually blackmailing the market with demands for a no-strings bailout

Turns out their imaginary only one true god was on their side just as much as our own was with us

Nobody guessed our kid’s future would not be brighter than our own was, once we were done here

Oddly, the all-important economy collapsed once it destroyed the very ecosystems that supported it

Turns out not even a trace of our messy presence remained after the passing of but one geologic era

The Immorality of Abusing Technicalities

Trump to Clinton on not paying taxes: “That makes me smart.” Afterwards on CNN: “No, I didn’t say that at all” – snopes.com

Deskbound health adjusters on commission denying lifesaving claims on pure technicalities

Tax lawyers growing rich and respected for purposely circumventing legislative intent

Pocketing fat fees and great honor finding loopholes to exploit with impunity and pride

Managers feeling quite upstanding doing anything counsel says that they can currently get away with

Introducing any new product chemical without testing, if it is simply not yet expressly forbidden

Approving uninspected imported food ingredients for fat bonuses without moral or legal responsibility

Cannily offshoring production simply to evade costly and intrusive environmental restrictions

Control freaks deliberately maintaining an insistence on ignorance to avoid charges of actually lying

Buying canned research studies published only if the results can be shown as favorable to our drugs

Earning huge salaries shystering complexities to cunningly subvert the spirit of the law

Righteously claiming ethical high ground with schemes morally equivalent to the absolutely outlawed

Minimally compliant with current regulations although knowing they are outdated and insufficient

Waltzing off to a secure bankruptcy from their superfund sites now surrounded by cancer hotspots

Sleeping well at night as your outsourcers work peasants 14 hrs a day with 20 to a bedroom

Lawyering by amoral procedural technicality, having nothing to do with charges, evidence or guilt

Paying whorish lobbyists obscene amounts to pervert the democratic process to greedy ends

Burying unrelated pork and hiding far-reaching provisions in all or nothing 10000 page legislation

Defensively bristling ‘We meet all government requirements’ after buying off any new regulation

Not counting the given up, underemployed or forced to part-time among the normal Unemployed

Replacing Tax and Spend with Borrow and Spend while calling for citizen Personal Responsibility

Confining mandated warnings to large words in small print, knowing they have no real effect

Paying them handsomely for stalling regulation by calling research into question via soundbites

Reducing requirements and inflating grades so that no child knows where they are left

Charging usurious interest and fees to credit card users as well as 3% to all the merchants

Reporting artificial News that attracts a target audience that satisfies big money advertisers

Convolutedly redrawing voting districts along party lines only to ensure future election results

Guaranteeing insider legislative influence simply by donating heavily to candidates of both sides

Maintaining a cozy political duopoly by jointly co-opting all 3^rd party movements into wackos

Gaining yearend bonuses by artificially boosting profits by merely postponing expense recognition

Lavishly rewarding conniving legal parasites who enable you to successfully evade taxes

Profitably re-imaging foolish consumer overspending into equity-financed negative savings rates

Swaddling arms marketing in gentle music and pleasant images of children and puppies

Being subsidized for defaulting on debts and benefits in the holy ruse of competitiveness

Glowingly praising the Human Resource while striving to cut labor costs in any way possible

Proudly rebranding corporate evasion, circumvention, subversion and delay as Doing the Right Thing

Totally comfortable mouthing Perfectly Legal to get richer via rule twisting and regulator buying

Thieves Manifesto

“Your house is your bank account” – That would be a Fox News Ad

That dumbass tourist has turned his back for a moment, Quick! grab that camera off their table

There’s hardly any jobs here and I cant read and I’d rather stay high than fix potholes

Shit, they got way more money than they deserve or know what to do with, anyhow

Anything we see and can get our hands on, well, it’s like this: we got the right to just take it

Those stupid government bastards are Still begging us to take tax money at zero interest

These jobless, assetless morons will sign anything for no money down and no credit check

We can make even more on phony inspections, imaginary fees and artificial closing costs

Then we’ll sell off the bogus loans to the big investment bank boys and go do it all over again

I’m so underwater on this stinking house, I won’t get any more equity out of it for years

Rolled my credit card and my vacations in there and walked out with cash at all my Refis

Now the rate’s adjusting up and house prices are going down and here I am, laid off again

Why, it’s just good financial strategy to walk away from this loser and start all over, clean again

So we pack these opaque tranches full of hand-picked, guaranteed subprime mortgage losers

Pay off our lap dog ratings agencies to say this worthless bag of shit is surely safe and TripleA rated

Sic the sales dogs on our hapless big investors with glossy brochures lined with 5 pt legalese

Hedge that bitch heavily and profit big when it proves to be just as worthless as we made it to be

Offshore them, outsource them, downsize them, but just eliminate them once and for all

After age 50, replace them with eager 3^rd world contractors and then renege on their benefits

Move production to China, support to India, incorporate in Bermuda and grab more fat bonuses

Hey, lets watch our new Ad about the Human Resource again, I really like the words and music

Got the mineral rights to our choice of federal and private lands for like 7¢ an acre

Bought off the regulators, gave out some toxic temporary jobs and by god jest got ‘er done

Expressed our shock and sadness over the poisonous damages and whined for federal help

Dropped the cleanup in the govt’t lap by cleverly declaring a phony bankruptcy & then walked away

Invented our own image of slick, fast-talking professionalism in stocks and cars and real estate

Sold them on the utter necessity of our so-called vital services and expensive but empty expertise

Convinced them that flat fees just wont motivate us, then drove up prices to get higher commissions

Hid the details, met the objections, closed them and made sure to never return their calls again

The politicians and the Godders keep em all sold on the moral necessity of constant war

Convinced them we need ever more arms even though we outspend all the rest combined

Got all the politicians so scared of being labeled Soft On Defense not even one would vote against us

And we also spin a self-sacrificing and patriotic image even as we suck a trillion out of every budget

They’ve got this inborn need to faith that’s a gaping opportunity for money and control

We’ve got these old stories which can be made to support anything we decide our cronies need

A few props, costumes, smoke, music and ceremonies provide the proper backdrop for our work

Their need to faith is our key to power, riches, control, sexual favors and their love and respect

Saint Mother

Oh, Saint Mother won’t you hear my mumbled greeting, yeah, I forgot to make my bed

And wont you just wash these dirty clothes for me, maybe just this one time again

Sweet suffering woman, hear my loud laughter, stumbling and cursing

I’ve come home to wake you thoughtlessly, once more, at 3AM

Well, that neighbor’s dog went and took a crap right on her lawn once more

And the garbage men left some messy stuff on the ground as well

She still cant get on her computer but she found her cellphone when I called it

Says she needs a brand new car and her couch is just plain worn out

Dearest Maaa, we’re still out of sugar frosted flakes

And when you’re going shopping, hey, we need more chips and salsa

Hail Mommie, full of grace, please, I am so hungry just like all those times before

It’s OK if you don’t have time to cook for us, we can leave you the kitchen mess

Mom, I’m really busy right now but I’ll try to call you sometime this coming weekend

Yes, we sure are looking forward to seeing you again, just like we did last year

Oh quietly suffering Mother, blurting out your bitter loneliness, once more upon the phone

Finding meaning when that nice, clean young doctor takes the time to talk to you again

You know that I am special and a truly gifted child, but shortchanged by our awful schools

And though I’m not quite so cute at 28, I still play on your instinct toward the precious children

My little friends and I, scuttling thru your free kitchen, in the dark of night

Our shiny wrappers and empty bottles accidentally dropped in the driveway

Well, old WhatsHerName died, you know that friend of her great Aunt Fannie’s

She says the only real socializing she has at this time of life is at all the funerals

A real nice man called her on the phone and they chatted for a while

They sprayed some kind of mud on the roof and took her for close to 1500 bucks

Still nursing some wack dream about us all being together as a family once again

Cant remember that it never worked out at all so long ago when we were kids

Saint Mommie don’t you call me to take out the trash, cause I just cant come right now

My ADD is kicking in so I need to stay right here and keep pounding on this game console

Repeating pointless stories of long dead people we never knew well enough to even forget

Brokenly reciting that long list of expensive Meds over and over once again

In a pathos of pluckiness she still dyes her own hair odd colors and really trowels on the makeup

Sitting there with that nice man on the right-wing TV who angrily explains everything so well

Mom can I use your car cause mine broke down out in the sticks at 2 AM last night, but it’s all good

I’ll never know how much that late and thoughtlessly scribbled birthday card really meant to her

Dear Saint Mother I don’t need you anymore cause now I got a wife of my own

But we’ll be dropping off the kids again this weekend cause we know you love them so…

Building Merica’s Thousand Year Reich

And thusly, would it remain forever, Morning In Merica

Believed that “change is the way of all things” is a justification for endless greedy takings

Demeaned science as fuzzy yet maintained a crystal clear vision of His paradise, awaiting us

Never took the time to make sense of things yet still wondered why the old were all so confused

Preached that market competition would efficiently & automatically solve any and all social ills

Spoke of our values and traditions as we tossed aside more valuable recyclables each and every day

Went forth multiplying blindly, blissfully righteous, given the blessings of our very own one true god

Wisely kept government out of the so-called business of habitat and species preservation

Built strong children in front of TV on factory white bread and cheap, tortured byproduct burgers

Quietly nurtured a proud illiteracy to enable our puppet leaders to simplify choices and explanations

Sold defense, banking, insurance, oil, agriculture and healthcare oligopolies our unhindered access

Made damn sure our progress wasn’t stalled by wastefully expensive environmental non-issues

Looked forward to a 1000 Year Reich powered only by ever-increasing consumer credit spending

Erected Import temple malls using illegales working with the cheapest materials available

Spent more per year than all other countries combined on defense to hold off their bogeymen

Doggedly recognized the evils of that tired socialism as it continually raised its ugly, wornout head

Mouthed ‘You can’t stop progress’ as the ultimate rationale for all our smash and grab profit

Impersonally advanced society via outsourcing engineering, production and support overseas

Gifted our sage leaders huge non-refundable bonuses based on the quarterly stock numbers

Institutionalized calls for more study as a method for defeating all forms of junk regulatory proposals

Ended each and every speech with the unashamed exceptionist demand that God Bless America

Used ‘too costly in jobs and money’ as a durable defense against any and all intrusive regulation

Entrusted our future to greed-blinded, furtive corporate leaders and their camera-hungry politicians

Called for Personal Responsibility while callously shedding pensions, debts and workers

Subsidized an unarmed takeover by illegal Hispanics as we fought a faraway war on terror

Replaced long-term planning with stall tactics until issues could be deemed too expensive to address

Hallucinated a healthy long-term economy powered only by financial services and retail sales

Denied our total reliance upon a healthy environment using the phony shibboleth of jobs and families

Piled debts upon the future even as we furiously wasted the resources they would need to pay them

Named as our Best and Brightest the vain who created quasi-mathematical financial Ponzi schemes

Ruled that externalities like water and air were not problems for either business or government

Left our soils, crops and animals to the ever monthly cost and stock price watchful evil eye of BigAg

Declared that the future would take care of itself if only left free of burdensome gov’t regulations

Divorced ourselves from natural cycles in favor of mass immersion in co-opted, vapid media trends

Infused our loud and willful ignorance with self-granted righteousness and unwarranted macho pride

Increasingly relied on overseas sources for vitals such as technology, food, drugs and consumer goods

Sarcastically belittled the stupid freaking foreigners from our exalted position as Gods chosen people

God Almighty, Sure: He’ll Resurrect Ya’

god almighty, you just bet ya’

don’t need no holy scriptures or blessed servants, truth be told

god almighty, yes indeed

omniscient and omnipotent, mindless, and just plain stone cold

god almighty, don't you forget

no truths revealed or tithes required

god almighty, step right up

no heaven, hell or rebirth awaitin when you’re retired

god almighty, hallelujah

got no mind that could even test your faith

god almighty, listen to them preach

there’s nothing there upon which their story’s based

god almighty, keep the faith

for they ain't no jesus checkin’ up on your case

god almighty, give us strength

heart as warm and deep, as empty space

god almighty, by our devotion

both good and evil as fictional as eternal grace

god almighty, clap your hands

already enjoyed that afterlife, before you even began

god almighty, raise your voices

those religions just fog your vision

god almighty, brothers and sisters

prepare to find out that god aint on no mission

god almighty, hear our prayers

there’s no mind to process what it cannot sense

god almighty, stand behind us

only our imagination covers their false pretense

god almighty, be a witness

our faint prayers got no place to go

god almighty, let us testify

there is no judgment of the river flows

god almighty, deliver us please

peepin only to each other as darkness grows

god almighty, bless us, oh, our lord

just as deserving as your most black of crows

Disentangling Our White Noise

A constant background noise; especially: One that drowns out other sounds

The void left by the forgotten songbirds is seamlessly filled by smarmy advertising messages

The roaring diesel fumes wafting softly into her crib do not stir this safely sleeping urban infant

News reports of inept, corrupt and wasteful governance no longer provoke any real response

Endless sad studies are smothered behind the deafening background noise we continuously create

Wild fish are not startled by gently falling acid rain from distant hissing coal stacks

The awkward silence of a clear-cut is unnoticeable atop growling wreckreational vehicles

Nobody leaps to the rescue of croaking frogs replaced by giant, rumbling bulldozers, once again

Dirty waters and climate change now lie safely outside our self-circumscribed hearing range

Screams from the refugee camps are muffled by our shopping, work and entertainment activities

Constant identical reports of even more extinctions aren’t going to motivate anyone again

The ever-dirtier business of politics no longer galvanizes the jaded multitude even a bit

People docilely accept that in good times or bad, the rich will profiteer at their expense

Blathering leaders are not expected to solve real problems correctly, cheaply or on time

Our loud and illiterate offspring are simply part of a vast and privatizing, comforting white noise

The unfortunate are blown off behind our sunglasses, earbuds and cynically-texting smirks

Even Scot-free bailouts of unregulated legal swindlers who are ruining our lives doesn’t move us

Ever more wasteful borrow-and-spend programs cannot provoke some mighty voter wrath

Continuous broadcast of morally repugnant crimes have worn out our emotional responses

Distress cries that might otherwise slow our progress are safely obscured by a soothing traffic roar

The wise voices of our ancestors have been attenuated into the meaningless background noise

That invisible, anonymous CEOs are naturally worth their guaranteed millions is taken at face value

It is accepted that gutting our futures thru offshoring should earn them more whopping bonuses

That they merged and downsized us forever for quick profits will not set us upon them

We tacitly accept the morality of efforts to evade the spirit of our laws via compulsive loopholeing

Un-inspected, adulterated foreign food ingredients will not rouse us up off our beloved couches

Omnipresent evidence of over-population is obscured by the simple crush of so many bodies

The voice of reason is smothered by our hoarse attempt to curse over their many tangled jingles

That our own thoughts must now be produced as shouts is not perceptible to us within the din

There’s really nothing between the inaudible lines blurring advertising, news and entertainment

Our crumbling infrastructure does not decay nearly loudly enough to claim even a little attention

Endless strident sound bite repetition completely deadens the occasional quiet and reasoned debate

The deafening sound of devastating warfare drowns out those faint, weak-kneed cries for peace

Relentless repetition of myriad, simple but cleverly-coded messages digitally layers our angry brains

A world of screams and shouts and tears are melded into a featureless but high-decibel abstraction

Ungodly special effects are launched which cannot gain attention for more than a few seconds

Loud, un-syncopated random outbursts occur so fast as to blend into a surrounding roar

This deafening white noise creates our privacy and thereby we think, preserves our sanity

But the vast silence of the void that surrounds us still terrifies as it makes its now rare appearance

Creaking and Throbbing Arthritic Memories

They creak as they grind, cushionless, hard against each other as I again force them to articulate

Well, of course they ache, especially long into those dark and damp nights, as I lay nervous & awake

Stiff and inflexible, they make it hard to assimilate all the new data that constantly assails me

Their pain suffuses my entire consciousness and thus, they color all of my other thoughts

Arthritic memories, petrifying remains of actions I am now glad I can no longer perform

Their hardening deformations give them an unnaturally twisted and lumpy appearance

Their current importance and significance is merely due to the unremitting pain they bring

I suffer them in silence knowing they are my only evidence for a reality that I knew, so long ago

Their throbbing disrupts my sleep, making it even harder to distinguish dreams from memory

They leave me unable to stretch out far enough or quickly enough to be of any real use anymore

Nonetheless, their aching provides a throbbing indicator that my consciousness still continues

Their sharp points of pain are overlaid on that whirling, disappearing blur I know of as my past

Arthritic memories, hard and knotty reminders of accidents that, though I did survive, I still regret

With any jarring actions, they swell and grow so painful as to impede even normal movement

The balm of forgetfulness, so maddeningly effective in normal life, cannot blot out their images

Their swelling calcifies into the grotesque shapes of these frighteningly pointless nightmares of mine

I’d Like To Lash Out Like Politicians Do

I get mad when they so soothingly coo to me that there’s really no need to get upset

I tense up when they calmly say that I should just try and learn to relax a little bit

I really need to shout when they have to ask me once again to please quiet down

I’d like to vent like a real angry Senator when they say there’s no reason to start swearing

I go off the deep end when they just set there all like smug, politically correct and shit

I’d love to smash their shiny faces when they order me to come to them first, next time

I know they mean I should just learn to shut up when they say I should be a good team player

And their call to think outside the box is just a desperate greedy plea to save their lame butts

I want to make them really sorry when they piously intone “I’m  sorry that you feel that way”

I get mad when they tell me to please let them finish - after they interrupted me one more time

I’d gladly lash those who took my savings and my job and got big bailouts and fat bonuses

I bristle when my tenured boss brusquely cuts me off to go soothe her whining kids, once again

I get depressed for days if “We” don’t win the big one on another wasted Sunday afternoon

I’d be happy to explode when I hear for the fifth time that my call is very important to them

I reach for my pills as some wacko piously tries to tell me again that I need to start recycling

I grow weak in body and spirit without the magic of real red meat 4 or 5 nights a week

I get pissed at all those failed socialist retreads, always scheming to cost us jobs and money

I want to bitch slap a couple junk scientists and whack a few fuzzy liberals upside the head

I get mad when they say gay marriage, abortion and creation science aren’t really important

I have to laugh when they preach that I should wedge my doublewide ass in some teeny electric car

I grow angry when my proud steel pickup steed is corralled up and hobbled behind a mini-van again

I’m sure I seem a bit testy as another foreign accent tells me that they don’t make the rules

I get antsy hearing them repeat that I simply need to be patient for a little while longer

It ticks me off that they dammit just dont get that we got enough coal for a whatever thousand years

I get mad at the soothing music and happy images of the defense and oil conglomerate marketeers

I want to take some revenge for my outsourcing, underwater house loan and ignorant children

I need to find blame for the stubborn ignorance behind all this obesity, diabetes and hypertension

It enrages me to see illegales taking jobs employers have made so bad I sure don’t even want them

I boil inside as we sacrifice it all for cheap oil and slave-made imported plastic consumerism

I caint take it when the kids are screamin and she’s naggin and I got another wicked hangover

It upsets me to see all the fast food wrappers and utensils we litter so quickly in our vapid wake

I want to hit back at the parasites who raise my card rate if I’m 1 day late on my minimum payment

I’d like to take them hostage when they ask me to either leave or they’ll have to call Security

I need to crush those who question our duty to the freedom loving peoples in the oil-rich lands

I could break their condescending paternalistic faces as they try to help me help myself, again

I get vengeful when unbelievers defame the one true god who blesses only this, our exceptionist land

We’ll Never Quite Reach Nothing

Human influence asymptotically approaches nothing as time approaches infinity

Even the effects of our own tiniest efforts cannot ever shrink to absolutely nothing

They can’t ever become smaller than say, the background radiation from the Big Bang

Their gracefully infinite approach to nothing is an enduring tribute to our wanton fervor

Still, even our greatest fall as far, and just as quickly, as those we deem to be the least among us

For, after all, there’s always another half the distance towards emptiness to which to decay

It doesn’t matter if the remainder is but infinitesimally larger than nothing

The ripples of our actions can be divided forever and still retain all their information

Concurrently, the amplitude of their influence infinitely approaches an unreachable zero

But the dilution of our acts is further complicated by their mixing with those of all others

For though they still exist independently, like choppy waves, they can never be separated

So well are they homogenized that they could not be re-distilled

So thoroughly are they mixed that they are effectively perfectly encrypted

Still, the reaction of our great deeds and shameful acts cannot ever amount to nothing

The time frame or the distance that they might have traveled quit simply makes no difference

Even the ever-decreasing density of expanding space cannot quite erase us totally

Verily, none of us can ever be reduced to nothing in the lifetime of this one universe

Our venal gossip passes unchanged through the eons and is still different to each listener

Drunken shouts will echo hoarsely thru time, each retaining every slurred and cursing syllable

Catchy advert jingles tinkle merrily on, unheard and unheeded across the march of time

The empty promises of our leaders cannot totally dissipate despite their utter lack of substance

The far-reaching after-effects of our numbing sports extravaganzas will carry on forever

The wondrous results of our faith-based initiatives will withstand the test of all time

The benefits of our wars of liberation will live on long after these noble efforts are completed

Just so, the marvelous dragon flies crushed flat on you car cannot ever really fully disappear

Even our everlasting beauty and truth persists despite infinite attenuation

Our context-free morals defy the test of time, simply awaiting their own re-discovery

The beliefs we held in some eternal heaven shall carry on, even though they are simply fairytales

And so we see, it’s really not for a cosmic nothing that we eat, sleep, shit, fight, shout and fuck