Forgotten quick-fixes from
that Great Recession
If we can just get the banks to start lending again surely
everything will bounce right back
With a few less job losses our futures will all seem just as
dazzlingly bright as they always used to
When the stock market gets turned around, everything will be
just peachy once again
We’ll get the housing sector moving and then we’ll be back
once more on our merry way
When we unfreeze the credit markets that oh-so vital consumer
spending will rebound
If we can just keep mortgage rates down good old real estate
can regain its momentum
We’ll see upticks in the RV, ATV, snowmobile and boat
industries when confidence returns
Families can drive to Disneyland in new Cash For Clunkers
cars while paying record low gas prices
We’ve got to hold the line on utility costs so homes can be
kept at 65º all summer long
Subsidizing without any strings attached the institutions we
deem too big to fail should get us moving
If we can just reduce lender uncertainty over possible
regulations, credit will flow freely again
We can get back to mid-morning lattes and eating out 3 times
a week under such bold initiatives
Stopping well shy of any real reform will help keep the
sainted investment banks afloat
We cannot threaten a fragile recovery with the ominous
shadow of intrusive government regulation
Printing scads of new money should jumpstart our sacred and
all-important economy, once again
If we can just get retail sales moving our cycle of consumer
borrowing on Asian imports can resume
If we can just get the economy back on track, we may even be
able to take up some other issues
Granting federal money at 0% interest will surely convince
the big banks to lend once again
We’ll also go ahead and guarantee the loans they make with
the money that we give them
Right now we just need to remain totally fixed upon
increasing GDP for this current quarter
Retaining focus on core economic issues must remain our
single most important priority
If we can just boost consumer confidence they’ll save us by
charging more imported big-screens
We’d like to see the tweenie mall spending rate start
bumping upwards once again
Jittery markets just might stabilize with massive infusions
of new cash, so we’ll try it
After all the bailout have been distributed, we might even
discuss gaining control of the deficit
With a little more time, surely the free market will develop
a profitable healthcare solution
If we can just remove their debt, dealer and pension
obligations, car builders will flourish
Postponing expensive emissions actions for just a little
while will give us some breathing room
We simply need to calmly stroke those jittery markets with
gentle and reassuring financial voices
Those flighty hairdressers and decorators who control stock
prices just hate all this uncertainty
Providing the merest bit of economic light should quash this
unproductive consumer saving trend
If we can just get back to spending more than we earn,
surely we can go on living happily ever after
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