Monday, September 12, 2011

Thieves Manifesto

Your house is your bank account” – That would be a Fox News Ad
That dumbass tourist has turned his back for a moment, Quick! grab that camera off their table
There’s hardly any jobs here and I cant read and I’d rather stay high than fix potholes
Shit, they got way more money than they deserve or know what to do with, anyhow
Anything we see and can get our hands on, well, it’s like this: we got the right to just take it

Those stupid government bastards are Still begging us to take tax money at zero interest
These jobless, assetless morons will sign anything for no money down and no credit check
We can make even more on phony inspections, imaginary fees and artificial closing costs
Then we’ll sell off the bogus loans to the big investment bank boys and go do it all over again

I’m so underwater on this stinking house, I won’t get any more equity out of it for years
Rolled my credit card and my vacations in there and walked out with cash at all my Refis
Now the rate’s adjusting up and house prices are going down and here I am, laid off again
Why, it’s just good financial strategy to walk away from this loser and start all over, clean again

So we pack these opaque tranches full of hand-picked, guaranteed subprime mortgage losers
Pay off our lap dog ratings agencies to say this worthless bag of shit is surely safe and TripleA rated
Sic the sales dogs on our hapless big investors with glossy brochures lined with 5 pt legalese
Hedge that bitch heavily and profit big when it proves to be just as worthless as we made it to be

Offshore them, outsource them, downsize them, but just eliminate them once and for all
After age 50, replace them with eager 3rd world contractors and then renege on their benefits
Move production to China, support to India, incorporate in Bermuda and grab more fat bonuses
Hey, lets watch our new Ad about the Human Resource again, I really like the words and music

Got the mineral rights to our choice of federal and private lands for like 7¢ an acre
Bought off the regulators, gave out some toxic temporary jobs and by god jest got ‘er done
Expressed our shock and sadness over the poisonous damages and whined for federal help
Dropped the cleanup in the govt’t lap by cleverly declaring a phony bankruptcy & then walked away

Invented our own image of slick, fast-talking professionalism in stocks and cars and real estate
Sold them on the utter necessity of our so-called vital services and expensive but empty expertise
Convinced them that flat fees just wont motivate us, then drove up prices to get higher commissions
Hid the details, met the objections, closed them and made sure to never return their calls again

The politicians and the Godders keep em all sold on the moral necessity of constant war
Convinced them we need ever more arms even though we outspend all the rest combined
Got all the politicians so scared of being labeled Soft On Defense not even one would vote against us
And we also spin a self-sacrificing and patriotic image even as we suck a trillion out of every budget

They’ve got this inborn need to faith that’s a gaping opportunity for money and control
We’ve got these old stories which can be made to support anything we decide our cronies need
A few props, costumes, smoke, music and ceremonies provide the proper backdrop for our work
Their need to faith is our key to power, riches, control, sexual favors and their love and respect

No comments:

Post a Comment