Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Fable Of Vanishing Breeds

The snowmobiles are disappearin right along with the fluffy white stuff they was ridin on
Them ATVs ain’t near so snarly when daddy ain’t got no job to pay to have them play
Giant SUVs are fading away, unable to compete, just like the them brontosauri
Less drunken numbnuts on financed jetskis are showing up down to the ER ever summer

Spoiled tweenies scattering daddy’s money at the malls are hardly even seen these days
Only a few hardy climate change skeptics still fight on, armed only with their thermostats
Just the rarest free market healthcare blathering is still heard outside of libertarian radio
Fat, damn, pushy, multi-minority women managers are fading away, right along with our prosperity

Shiny, porky, spin doctors on pain meds may finally lose their grip upon our consciousness
But them failed and wornout liberal socialist policies of the past are forgotten just as well
Cosmetically-enhanced parasitic real estate agents in shiny new cars are disappearing
Greasy lying car salesmen are drying up standing around outside closed down dealerships

Itchy apartment cowboys have gunned way-loud, ugly pickups off into a last bleary sunset
Dumbass Harleys are finally going blissfully silent with their loans so far underwater
Even effete luxury yacht owners are scuttling their crafts due to these awful economics
Changing times are sadly grounding more and more useless, un-muffled, toy private planes

Some are even questioning the wisdom of paying $2-300 a month just for a phone
Petcare specialists are suffering along with life coaches, beauticians and pedicurists
We witness proudly-ignorant construction workers being excreted from the middle class
No longer do we hear of expensive solutions to the unsubstantiated issue of CO2 emissions

Cockamamie government funding of the arts and the children of the poor are disappearing
Half-baked notions of some green world have been dampened by the real needs of our economy
Sucking-up middle managers are morphing into overly-chatty but useless home store clerks
Bold credit card debtors try futilely to become balance-free deadbeats with no lender appeal

Our Best and Brightest who actually weren’t, look to start over at trading carbon offsets
Chinese peasant factory workers no longer enjoy 14 hour workdays and sadly return home
The mega-churches are scaling back on expansion plans and reviewing their portfolios
Ill-conceived and grandiose climate change mitigation plans have quietly been shelved

Socialist sustainability fantasies have rightly given way to cutting red tape to save family jobs
Newspapers are being recycled into alternate-fact blogs and corporate entertainment
Poor illegal aliens will shortly attain a majority and have bloodlessly taken all of our places
We have deemed institutions that have already failed us as too big for us to permit to fail

Secretaries are no longer buying rental units or doing quick fix-ups for fast-profit flipping
Far right wingers are finding abortion much more palatable for our Non-Aryan intruders
Squishy, vegan tree-huggers are finally seeing over-hyped organic foods as way overpriced
Looks like even gods chosen people have earned a place on the short list of vanishing breeds

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