A Fable Of Vanishing Breeds

The snowmobiles are disappearin right along with the fluffy white stuff they was ridin on

Them ATVs ain’t near so snarly when daddy ain’t got no job to pay to have them play

Giant SUVs are fading away, unable to compete, just like the them brontosauri

Less drunken numbnuts on financed jetskis are showing up down to the ER ever summer

Spoiled tweenies scattering daddy’s money at the malls are hardly even seen these days

Only a few hardy climate change skeptics still fight on, armed only with their thermostats

Just the rarest free market healthcare blathering is still heard outside of libertarian radio

Fat, damn, pushy, multi-minority women managers are fading away, right along with our prosperity

Shiny, porky, spin doctors on pain meds may finally lose their grip upon our consciousness

But them failed and wornout liberal socialist policies of the past are forgotten just as well

Cosmetically-enhanced parasitic real estate agents in shiny new cars are disappearing

Greasy lying car salesmen are drying up standing around outside closed down dealerships

Itchy apartment cowboys have gunned way-loud, ugly pickups off into a last bleary sunset

Dumbass Harleys are finally going blissfully silent with their loans so far underwater

Even effete luxury yacht owners are scuttling their crafts due to these awful economics

Changing times are sadly grounding more and more useless, un-muffled, toy private planes

Some are even questioning the wisdom of paying $2-300 a month just for a phone

Petcare specialists are suffering along with life coaches, beauticians and pedicurists

We witness proudly-ignorant construction workers being excreted from the middle class

No longer do we hear of expensive solutions to the unsubstantiated issue of CO2 emissions

Cockamamie government funding of the arts and the children of the poor are disappearing

Half-baked notions of some green world have been dampened by the real needs of our economy

Sucking-up middle managers are morphing into overly-chatty but useless home store clerks

Bold credit card debtors try futilely to become balance-free deadbeats with no lender appeal

Our Best and Brightest who actually weren’t, look to start over at trading carbon offsets

Chinese peasant factory workers no longer enjoy 14 hour workdays and sadly return home

The mega-churches are scaling back on expansion plans and reviewing their portfolios

Ill-conceived and grandiose climate change mitigation plans have quietly been shelved

Socialist sustainability fantasies have rightly given way to cutting red tape to save family jobs

Newspapers are being recycled into alternate-fact blogs and corporate entertainment

Poor illegal aliens will shortly attain a majority and have bloodlessly taken all of our places

We have deemed institutions that have already failed us as too big for us to permit to fail

Secretaries are no longer buying rental units or doing quick fix-ups for fast-profit flipping

Far right wingers are finding abortion much more palatable for our Non-Aryan intruders

Squishy, vegan tree-huggers are finally seeing over-hyped organic foods as way overpriced

Looks like even gods chosen people have earned a place on the short list of vanishing breeds

How Much Progress Is Sustainability Worth?

“This proposal places too much burden on working families in terms of jobs and money” – Senate Majority Leader

How much sulfur emission will it take to keep our happy little family safe and warm

Sweetheart, is that nest of songbirds really worth Daddy’s job down at the cube farm

We don’t actually need any of these butterflies to keep the kids in school, do we, dear

Won’t they still make those happy-ever-after children’s movies even if all the frogs have disappeared

Honey, it really is a choice between our family and those cuddly-looking little bunnies

You see, if they get to live then we might have to change our traditional happy family lifestyle

Nature is real nice and all but daddy’s got to make money to buy us all of this nice stuff

And, you know I would chop forests, bulldoze meadows, poison rivers and stripmine hills just for you

How many good jobs is it worth to dump sex-changing chemicals into the little stream by our house

Just ask lucky pig farm employees where their antibiotics are building stronger MRSA for us all

What do the unemployed loggers say even as their clear cuts still silt up rivers and kill the salmon

How many caribou would I wipe out to still be able to commute alone to work to keep you happy

Little darling, we’re ripping up the fields to plant fake grass to help you grow up safe and secure

Daddy’s got to run that bulldozer so Mom can buy our white bread, chips and hot dogs

Environmental preservation is one of those luxuries our family just can’t afford right now, sweetie

After all, how many steady jobs is an inedible and ugly little desert fish really worth to us at home

Yes my daughter, the roof I put over your head today may indeed add a bit of PCB to your breast milk

But, if we don’t get food on the table today, our kids wont even be here to enjoy what we preserved

So we eat this tortured beef to help bring costs in line with our ever-decreasing spending power

What’s a bit more Grand Canyon smog if it helps attain coal-fired energy independence for our kids

Right, so we should regulate commerce because some exotic mussel may unbalance the Great Lakes

So what should we give up for soil microbes some study contends are so important to agriculture

Look, we’re barely getting by and you say we need to sacrifice more just to clean up the rain

I’ll trade a years work now for your sake against your distant future, my bright-eyed son

Hey, we’re just folks trying to get by and we got to eat and drive to work. Well, don’t we?

That 5 billion lbs of poultry waste drained into the Chesapeake each year keeps chicken in our pot

In the meantime, we only know the house loan just readjusted and the kids need new school clothes

So what if my job doesn’t really yield more than just cheap, takeout environmental destruction

Its worth building shoddy, overpriced dream homes if I can make the payments on the family pickup

Baby, we’re voting for coal and oil so you can grow up and have kids of your own

What percent unemployment would we tolerate just to make the wetlands safe for frogs

How many need go hungry so a few elitists might get to see the stars and experience natural silence

Sing along with Mommie now Drill-Baby-Drill, that’s it honey, once again, Drill-Baby-Drill

Look, we can barely afford our Cell and Cable bills, much less some liberal wacko’s carbon tax

OK, so we just turn down our air-conditioners, keep the windows closed, burn coal and vegout

After all, if we cant put food on the table what’s that fairytale ecosphere worth anyways?

How Real Conservatives Sacrifice

‘Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow.’  A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

To feed divinely-mandated population growth, we seek more intensive farming on increased acreage

We must abandon this foolish carbon tax idea that threatens an ever-fragile economic recovery

Sadly, we will not even be able to debate funding the cleanup of our surface waters right now

The savings of the thrifty must be sacrificed to no-strings-attached bailouts for the moneychangers

The Pygmies and the Inuit must help pay our dues, right along with the Orangs and the Bonobos

We ask that desert species permanently accept this new hotter, drier and windier order

Microscopic ocean life forms will simply have to adapt to consuming our rain of plastic particulates

Migrating elephants must stop feeding upon the crops we now must grow on their ancient pathways

We propose massive cuts to biodiversity to be offset by large increases in human numbers

Many un-cataloged rain forest species must be replaced by new bioengineered monocrops

To meet our taste for fish we must foster their extinction by driving up their prices

Corporate farms will be forced to degrade the soils to meet the nutritional needs of good families

Consumers must accept ecologically devastating imports which don’t work, then simply break

Trees need to begin migrating to survive this absolutely unpreventable, unproven change in climate

The frogs had best be making some kind of peace with their inevitable and imminent extinction

We are drafting a plan to pack ever more of our people into sprawling unmanaged ghettos

Healthcare spending must be slashed as it threatens such truly important items as defense

We must enforce the tacit global agreement to collectively bury our heads in the sand

Please grant your old jobs to foreigners and believe that the better ones come to you tomorrow

We ask that polar bears and musk oxen take Personal Responsibility for their adaptation

Nearly all of us must accept a uniformly low living standard in the name of globalization

It is not without some regret that we unveil our new energy independence through coal initiative

During these times of real crisis, noise and light pollution are simply not on our agenda

We must secretly violate your privacy to prevent more awful attacks we cannot mention

We ask mothers to carry PCBs, metals and hormones in their milk for the sake of our progress

Our people must bravely sacrifice their children’s futures to fulfill their own implanted desires

The songbirds shall be called upon to disappear from their shredded habitats everywhere

Our rivers will have to carry the burden of our billion points of unconscious toxic runoff

The last old growth forests will be asked to provide us with a few bad, but temporary logging jobs

Sales reps of all one true gods must demand blinder faith for empty promises of eternal salvation

Bankers will be asked to endure symbolic wrist-slappings as they grasp at more unaudited handouts

Oil companies must accept record profits on a declining supply yet subvert all energy alternatives

For the sake of leaving not one child behind, we seek a general dumbing down of all of society

We petition coal extractors to patriotically hold down costs thru non-remediated strip-mining

Regrettably, as His chosen people we must pursue a cowboy exceptionist foreign policy, in His name

In this time of shared sacrifice we ask for a continued suspension of our collective common sense

Our Paternalistic Libertarianism

Continuously improve existing social programs with replacement by trickle-down tax cuts for the rich

Save maybe a few of the very last redwoods but enforce the right to life under a penalty of death

Preserve our future with pre-school handgun training and creationism studies for 3^rd graders

Subsidize solar power but, by god, make sure you also hurry up and Drill Baby Drill!

Mandate universal freemarket healthcare with no government regulation, rationing or death panels

End stripmining and clearcutting while keeping federal agencies totally out of private business

Let them recycle to save the planet, but maintain a smirking sarcasm aimed at the clueless squishes

Wrist-slap the bankers but guarantee new terms on their equity-robbed, underwater home loans

Disgorge pre-masticated mouthfuls of difficult decisions but let them go in-depth with alt-right news

Preserve our precious fresh water without any burdensome and intrusive regulations

Establish gay marriage but subject them all to an ongoing, evangelical, christian healing

Dump your trash in the woods as vegans recycle paper to china to make more of your packaging

Ban flag burning but continue letting the government spy on us in secret, with total impunity

End the grocery meat holocaust but without raising the price of our kid’s beloved hot dogs

So save the damn earth but don’t you dare alter the consumer lifestyle of our precious families

Maybe gift Wall Street a phony Cap and Trade market but without forcing any emissions reductions

Teach your sons to fish but don’t enforce the pollution laws so that they might eat what they catch

Convert the government to Spanish for latino votes even while forcefully expelling all those illegales

Purchase plenty of room in commercial prisons after we graduate the fatherless as amoral illiterates

No new taxes ever, but spread car rebates, bank bailouts and loan guarantees all around

Support noble freedom fighters everywhere but crush out all those fanatical terrorist insurgents

Answer the enemy’s illegal invasions with our own pre-emptively defensive wars of liberation

Encourage a reasoned public debate but control it with distorted, donor-funded 30 second soundbites

Destroy unfair foreign trade barriers to allow free export of lobbyists government subsidized products

End abortion murders but continue to ignore the 40% born as bastards to our blessed mothers

Bring God into our government but keep its fool regulations way the hell out of our businesses

In private talks with personal saviors, decide to make war upon the evil fundamentalist jihadis

Call for independent thinking while encouraging their pointless immersion in corporate sports

Cut these wasteful liberal social programs but don’t leave a single child behind at school

Talk of our great love of peace but spend more on weapons than all the other lands combined

Foster a free-range cowboy spirit in those living in dank apartment burrows of suburban wastelands

Scorn the liberal media conspiracy with a thousand conservative, evangelical, fake-news tweets

Encourage math and science while ridiculing scientists from mass entertainment/news pulpits

Proudly stamp Packaged In America on the cheapest imports that you can negligently offshore

Restore their lost but noble native culture through gambling, tobacco, fireworks and liquor

Trumpet Personal Responsibility while creating huge government deficits for their children

Get the mercury out of our kids brains without needless regulation of patriotic coal power plants

Nurture the fragile economy while degrading every natural system that supports it very existence

Both Sides Just Say NO!

        “If he (Obama) was for it, we had to be against it” – Ohio senator George Voinovich
Digging in their heels on another issue to break the arch political enemy, once and for all

Pushing back so hard there’s no time to come up with any real initiatives of their own

Keeping heads down and eyes closed the whole time they’re shaking them and repeating NO!

Winning great victories that result only in the continuation of a bitter partisan stalemate

Stalling for more study using highly-charged, pseudo-scientific, marketing catchphrases

Trotting out the trusted homily of ‘too expensive in jobs and money’ at every opportunity

Keeping every party member voting NO! as a block is their noble plan to save this great land

They educate the electorate with corporate donors, costly lobbyists and slick media heads

Stirring a few outright lies into cleverly mixed sound bites keeps our patriotic fervor fresh

Getting sloganeers to galvanize the lower class again, to reclaim their privileged advantage

Leveraging the common ignorance, greed and sloth to regain power via faux-folksy pandering

Encouraging polarization to help ensure the ongoing paralysis that fosters our undevelopment

Actively promoting inaction by embedding poison pills in all new legislation from the other side

Saving the people time and again by acting out like some constipating intestinal blockage

Encouraging that noisy hatred and distrust instead of quietly-reasoned debate and compromise

Disguising their donor’s agenda with simple, slick, loudly-repeated and expensive propaganda

Hailing the mere blocking of legislation as a triumph of democracy for Traditional Family Values©

Relying on tired parliamentary maneuvers to slow, stall and then kill any and all real action

Nurturing divisive partisan political paralysis in a suicidal scorched earth campaign

Stoutly refusing to raise taxes while bravely halting any attempts to cut costs or benefits

Merely impeding the opposition, we advertise having done our noble duty quite well

Gleefully declaring yet another initiative dead, we add to the list of our accomplishments

We smirk and pose like great white hunters standing atop yet another legislative corpse

Demanding action and shouting out blame even while stubbornly refusing to help craft solutions

Partnering with clever pundits paid for by our corporate sponsors to glorify our stagnation

Making just saying NO! look like we took some real action, as if with torches and pitchforks

Demonizing the opposition to such a degree that any co-operation would be deemed traitorous

Blindly banding together to stall for victory via the patriotic act of yet another filibuster

Determined that all hopey-changey-squishy fairytales shall be crushed beneath our dragging feet

Blocking each initiative and then trumpeting that the opposition has done nothing at all

After digging in our heels and stalling for time, we shall then demand further research

With paid media and corporate support, we inflame the belligerent and ignorant masses

Declaring our righteous anger we whip up a warlike frenzy to ensure that nothing happens

We sync with donors to deface, demean and delay and trumpet the enemy’s ineffectiveness

We’ll rant of awful problems but stifle any action and then sorely bemoan our nation’s situation

We’ll just say NO! in a chorus and then shout out that the people demand a change

Industry Self-Regulation Not Gov’t Intrusion

Surely logging interests wouldn’t clearcut so far as to silt up the streams and ruin riparian habitat

Hog farmers will responsibly provide us with affordable chops without just dumping all the manure

Altruistic corporate leaders won’t boost profits with cheaper, un-inspected, foreign food ingredients

Surely it can’t cost us a hundred times what it costs Africans for the privilege of having a cell phone

Oil producers will surely have proven tested contingency plans and practiced emergency procedures

Factories won’t simply dump untested new chemicals just because there’s not yet a law against them

Surely banks would not bet against funds they built to fail yet still push them to good customers

Secret internal monitoring will probably prevent rogue perverted clergy from molesting our children

Insurers would never pay commissions for twisting arcane technicalities to deny costly procedures

We also don’t need government death panels making treatment decisions for good family doctors

Unregulated mountain top removal will yield us a safe and cheap, coal-based energy independence

You really can count on wise global oligarchs, meeting in secret, to craft a better world for us all

Trust selfless defense contractors to patriotically hold down costs and not invent bogeymen

Unconstrained, agribusiness will conserve water, provide safe foods and sustain our soils forever

Industries will self-regulate to reduce CO2 emissions even though it may even reduce their profits

Setting the amount of salt, calories and fats in our food is best left to corporate marketers

The Best and Brightest over there on Wall Street must be permitted unfettered financial innovation

Supply and demand will prevent invisible multinationals from strip-mining the open seas of all life

Heavy-handed rules and regulation can only cost hard-working families excessive jobs and money

Industry councils will devise voluntary guidelines to properly address virtually any issue

BigPharma wont push phony lifestyle drugs, ignore 3^rd world suffering and jack up generic prices

The informed consumer will wisely avert epidemics of obesity, diabetes and coronary disease

Lifetime judges would never actively misinterpret the constitution to misconstrue the people’s will

Monopolies, tariffs and subsidies without oversight or taxes are not the only corporate lobbying goals

Investment banks do not use their unregulated financial creativity to blackmail world markets

Lawyers would never let their ads degenerate into despicably misleading sales pitches to sufferers

Real estate professionals nobly self-monitor conflicts of interest, omissions and deceptions

Gamblers, smokers and drinkers can retain control of their lives thru Personal Responsibility

Carmakers would’ve tackled safety, economy and emissions themselves without intrusive mandates

Food conglomerates don’t need oversight for targeting kids with addiction to caffeine, sugar and fat

Merging cable providers actually does increase competition, efficiency and lowers consumer prices

A fuel of blind sociopathic greed guided by short term stock gains yields our globally optimum future

No one would dream of creating a non-profit to swindle duped donors out of contributions

Fuzzy and expensive sustainability policies lead back down the slippery slope of that failed socialism

Unfettered, untraceable access to any type of weapon is a god-given, constitutionally-enshrined right

Secretly spying on our private lives requires no oversight if we, as citizens really have nothing to hide

Fireflies Faltered Beneath Our Progress

The tiny flickering glows of those little fireflies are winking out all over, without a sound

Their demise was briefly noted somewhere after the real news of Sports and Entertainment

Still, some ask, without the fireflies, can the fairies really be so very far behind?

Your children will not miss them but, as for us, we saw them and we actually let them go

Their merely wondrous blinking, wafting in tall meadows apparently was not enough to save them

For the spread of civilization brought our ordained progress to bear with blunt force, against them

Their bobbing in the grasses proved ineffectual against our blindly-mechanical spread

At least their demise can be euphemized as simply a sad, but unintended, collateral destruction

However, that magical fragility which had once made us skip lightly and gently sing, is gone forever

The fireflies are faltering and we lack the time or money to save them, or even to say goodbye

Yet, all those who saw them doubtlessly retained the memory for their entire lives

Unlike all the forgotten entertainment and the randomizing blur of this, our day-to-day existence

Without any time for triage their fate was quickly sealed, somewhere well off of, our social radar

Cool green lights winking out unnoticed during commercials amidst corporate sports extravaganzas

Still, their extinction may have indirectly contributed some tiny fraction to a rise in quarterly GDP

Yet all of us have been reduced by this, only marginally beneficial, god-granted taking of dominion

The faltering of the fireflies does not prove us to be simply a ruthless and destructive lot

Their small vacancy surely does not unzip the very fabric of the summer night

Certainly their tiny niches must indeed be quickly claimed by other life forms

After all, every creature comes and goes from the loving breast of this sustaining earth

Their humbly entertaining forays paled in comparison to our far weightier concerns

Like the flowers that we bulldozed, they did not produce or consume, much less reap or sow

And, as His good stewards of this entire blue-green world, we cannot be lessened by their absence

They formed, after all, but a single stitch in the densely-woven tapestry of life on earth

The unnecessary beauty and grace of the fireflies conferred them no survival advantage

Their phosphorescence really wasn’t such a magical mystery, viewed thru our earthy wisdom

We could always build robot firefly drones with LEDs and artificial swarm intelligence

Their demise then but a minor chord in the squishy symphony of fine things being crushed underfoot