The Immorality of Abusing Technicalities

Trump to Clinton on not paying taxes: “That makes me smart.” Afterwards on CNN: “No, I didn’t say that at all” – snopes.com

Deskbound health adjusters on commission denying lifesaving claims on pure technicalities

Tax lawyers growing rich and respected for purposely circumventing legislative intent

Pocketing fat fees and great honor finding loopholes to exploit with impunity and pride

Managers feeling quite upstanding doing anything counsel says that they can currently get away with

Introducing any new product chemical without testing, if it is simply not yet expressly forbidden

Approving uninspected imported food ingredients for fat bonuses without moral or legal responsibility

Cannily offshoring production simply to evade costly and intrusive environmental restrictions

Control freaks deliberately maintaining an insistence on ignorance to avoid charges of actually lying

Buying canned research studies published only if the results can be shown as favorable to our drugs

Earning huge salaries shystering complexities to cunningly subvert the spirit of the law

Righteously claiming ethical high ground with schemes morally equivalent to the absolutely outlawed

Minimally compliant with current regulations although knowing they are outdated and insufficient

Waltzing off to a secure bankruptcy from their superfund sites now surrounded by cancer hotspots

Sleeping well at night as your outsourcers work peasants 14 hrs a day with 20 to a bedroom

Lawyering by amoral procedural technicality, having nothing to do with charges, evidence or guilt

Paying whorish lobbyists obscene amounts to pervert the democratic process to greedy ends

Burying unrelated pork and hiding far-reaching provisions in all or nothing 10000 page legislation

Defensively bristling ‘We meet all government requirements’ after buying off any new regulation

Not counting the given up, underemployed or forced to part-time among the normal Unemployed

Replacing Tax and Spend with Borrow and Spend while calling for citizen Personal Responsibility

Confining mandated warnings to large words in small print, knowing they have no real effect

Paying them handsomely for stalling regulation by calling research into question via soundbites

Reducing requirements and inflating grades so that no child knows where they are left

Charging usurious interest and fees to credit card users as well as 3% to all the merchants

Reporting artificial News that attracts a target audience that satisfies big money advertisers

Convolutedly redrawing voting districts along party lines only to ensure future election results

Guaranteeing insider legislative influence simply by donating heavily to candidates of both sides

Maintaining a cozy political duopoly by jointly co-opting all 3^rd party movements into wackos

Gaining yearend bonuses by artificially boosting profits by merely postponing expense recognition

Lavishly rewarding conniving legal parasites who enable you to successfully evade taxes

Profitably re-imaging foolish consumer overspending into equity-financed negative savings rates

Swaddling arms marketing in gentle music and pleasant images of children and puppies

Being subsidized for defaulting on debts and benefits in the holy ruse of competitiveness

Glowingly praising the Human Resource while striving to cut labor costs in any way possible

Proudly rebranding corporate evasion, circumvention, subversion and delay as Doing the Right Thing

Totally comfortable mouthing Perfectly Legal to get richer via rule twisting and regulator buying

It’s Technical-You Pay

The service contract said that we had to pay again even though they made it worse trying to fix it

No, your contract is subject to a binding arbitration with a judge whom we alone get to choose

Technically, we owe you nothing but we have decided to cut your charges by 20%, for one month

Why, we never dreamed our house payment could triple just one year into our new ARM mortgage

Our investment instruments are so complicated that only a no-strings bailout can save your world

Experts blame a computer error for today’s lengthy and widespread technical problems

We can get you a new phone overnite but you must pay for the old one for another month as well

Regrettably, our computerized credit model has determined that we cannot modify your bad loan

All these other power adapters are incompatible but we can offer you this whole new unit, at retail

Per contract, we are not responsible for our technical difficulties resulting in your service outages

I did not understand our trading instruments so I OK’d them based solely on their profit potential

You won’t actually know the exact charge until you get your first bill, Oh, and it will vary monthly

Sir, the bottom line is that you must re-install everything and all your work and settings are lost

This hot new gizmo is perfect except for this one little piece that breaks every time on all of them

They said that it all looks fine from their end so you really shouldn't be seeing a problem on your side

It's not supposed to do that unless you change something else but nobody ever touched a thing here

His said he was Bill but I couldn’t understand him so he put me on hold and hung up after 15 minutes

Their agreement says they are not responsible if it doesn’t work or if anything else bad happens

No, I didn’t read that 12 pages of 4 point font fine print legalese, I only listened to the nice salesman

Come to find out, that expensive warranty doesn’t cover anything that ever could actually break

Never understood why the media ran exposés on the same scams that they sold commercials for

His worth to the firm was incalculable so they guaranteed him millions - even if he failed or was fired

His lawyer said he relished a chance to clear his name but yet he would make no public statements

Their peasant’s 14 hour slave wage days making things they couldn’t afford was hailed as progress

Though their HQ was in Bermuda and their factories in china, their ads were all so very American

Their stock price rose upon the announcement of further cost-cutting led by even more layoffs

He said that their unintelligible legalese was not their scam but was required by the government

It seems the recyclers are losing money since it still costs too much to reuse their free raw materials

She never considered what happened when she flipped a switch so it really was no miracle to her

Though we won’t go into the details here, if you run the numbers you can quite easily see…

This agreement states you must train your offshore replacement to qualify for any severance at all

Even if our own experts disagree on what the tax code actually states, we can fine you in any case

This undiagnosed pre-existing condition disqualifies your claim and also, we are canceling your policy

Initialing here means we cannot be held liable for any risks we downplay, ignore or don’t understand

This says you cannot sue us but it’s really just so you might not even try if something bad happens

It actually states that we can cancel your contract anytime but you have no way to ever get out of it

Industry Self-Regulation Not Gov’t Intrusion

Surely logging interests wouldn’t clearcut so far as to silt up the streams and ruin riparian habitat

Hog farmers will responsibly provide us with affordable chops without just dumping all the manure

Altruistic corporate leaders won’t boost profits with cheaper, un-inspected, foreign food ingredients

Surely it can’t cost us a hundred times what it costs Africans for the privilege of having a cell phone

Oil producers will surely have proven tested contingency plans and practiced emergency procedures

Factories won’t simply dump untested new chemicals just because there’s not yet a law against them

Surely banks would not bet against funds they built to fail yet still push them to good customers

Secret internal monitoring will probably prevent rogue perverted clergy from molesting our children

Insurers would never pay commissions for twisting arcane technicalities to deny costly procedures

We also don’t need government death panels making treatment decisions for good family doctors

Unregulated mountain top removal will yield us a safe and cheap, coal-based energy independence

You really can count on wise global oligarchs, meeting in secret, to craft a better world for us all

Trust selfless defense contractors to patriotically hold down costs and not invent bogeymen

Unconstrained, agribusiness will conserve water, provide safe foods and sustain our soils forever

Industries will self-regulate to reduce CO2 emissions even though it may even reduce their profits

Setting the amount of salt, calories and fats in our food is best left to corporate marketers

The Best and Brightest over there on Wall Street must be permitted unfettered financial innovation

Supply and demand will prevent invisible multinationals from strip-mining the open seas of all life

Heavy-handed rules and regulation can only cost hard-working families excessive jobs and money

Industry councils will devise voluntary guidelines to properly address virtually any issue

BigPharma wont push phony lifestyle drugs, ignore 3^rd world suffering and jack up generic prices

The informed consumer will wisely avert epidemics of obesity, diabetes and coronary disease

Lifetime judges would never actively misinterpret the constitution to misconstrue the people’s will

Monopolies, tariffs and subsidies without oversight or taxes are not the only corporate lobbying goals

Investment banks do not use their unregulated financial creativity to blackmail world markets

Lawyers would never let their ads degenerate into despicably misleading sales pitches to sufferers

Real estate professionals nobly self-monitor conflicts of interest, omissions and deceptions

Gamblers, smokers and drinkers can retain control of their lives thru Personal Responsibility

Carmakers would’ve tackled safety, economy and emissions themselves without intrusive mandates

Food conglomerates don’t need oversight for targeting kids with addiction to caffeine, sugar and fat

Merging cable providers actually does increase competition, efficiency and lowers consumer prices

A fuel of blind sociopathic greed guided by short term stock gains yields our globally optimum future

No one would dream of creating a non-profit to swindle duped donors out of contributions

Fuzzy and expensive sustainability policies lead back down the slippery slope of that failed socialism

Unfettered, untraceable access to any type of weapon is a god-given, constitutionally-enshrined right

Secretly spying on our private lives requires no oversight if we, as citizens really have nothing to hide