I’d Like To Lash Out Like Politicians Do

I get mad when they so soothingly coo to me that there’s really no need to get upset

I tense up when they calmly say that I should just try and learn to relax a little bit

I really need to shout when they have to ask me once again to please quiet down

I’d like to vent like a real angry Senator when they say there’s no reason to start swearing

I go off the deep end when they just set there all like smug, politically correct and shit

I’d love to smash their shiny faces when they order me to come to them first, next time

I know they mean I should just learn to shut up when they say I should be a good team player

And their call to think outside the box is just a desperate greedy plea to save their lame butts

I want to make them really sorry when they piously intone “I’m  sorry that you feel that way”

I get mad when they tell me to please let them finish - after they interrupted me one more time

I’d gladly lash those who took my savings and my job and got big bailouts and fat bonuses

I bristle when my tenured boss brusquely cuts me off to go soothe her whining kids, once again

I get depressed for days if “We” don’t win the big one on another wasted Sunday afternoon

I’d be happy to explode when I hear for the fifth time that my call is very important to them

I reach for my pills as some wacko piously tries to tell me again that I need to start recycling

I grow weak in body and spirit without the magic of real red meat 4 or 5 nights a week

I get pissed at all those failed socialist retreads, always scheming to cost us jobs and money

I want to bitch slap a couple junk scientists and whack a few fuzzy liberals upside the head

I get mad when they say gay marriage, abortion and creation science aren’t really important

I have to laugh when they preach that I should wedge my doublewide ass in some teeny electric car

I grow angry when my proud steel pickup steed is corralled up and hobbled behind a mini-van again

I’m sure I seem a bit testy as another foreign accent tells me that they don’t make the rules

I get antsy hearing them repeat that I simply need to be patient for a little while longer

It ticks me off that they dammit just dont get that we got enough coal for a whatever thousand years

I get mad at the soothing music and happy images of the defense and oil conglomerate marketeers

I want to take some revenge for my outsourcing, underwater house loan and ignorant children

I need to find blame for the stubborn ignorance behind all this obesity, diabetes and hypertension

It enrages me to see illegales taking jobs employers have made so bad I sure don’t even want them

I boil inside as we sacrifice it all for cheap oil and slave-made imported plastic consumerism

I caint take it when the kids are screamin and she’s naggin and I got another wicked hangover

It upsets me to see all the fast food wrappers and utensils we litter so quickly in our vapid wake

I want to hit back at the parasites who raise my card rate if I’m 1 day late on my minimum payment

I’d like to take them hostage when they ask me to either leave or they’ll have to call Security

I need to crush those who question our duty to the freedom loving peoples in the oil-rich lands

I could break their condescending paternalistic faces as they try to help me help myself, again

I get vengeful when unbelievers defame the one true god who blesses only this, our exceptionist land