The Immorality of Abusing Technicalities

Trump to Clinton on not paying taxes: “That makes me smart.” Afterwards on CNN: “No, I didn’t say that at all” – snopes.com

Deskbound health adjusters on commission denying lifesaving claims on pure technicalities

Tax lawyers growing rich and respected for purposely circumventing legislative intent

Pocketing fat fees and great honor finding loopholes to exploit with impunity and pride

Managers feeling quite upstanding doing anything counsel says that they can currently get away with

Introducing any new product chemical without testing, if it is simply not yet expressly forbidden

Approving uninspected imported food ingredients for fat bonuses without moral or legal responsibility

Cannily offshoring production simply to evade costly and intrusive environmental restrictions

Control freaks deliberately maintaining an insistence on ignorance to avoid charges of actually lying

Buying canned research studies published only if the results can be shown as favorable to our drugs

Earning huge salaries shystering complexities to cunningly subvert the spirit of the law

Righteously claiming ethical high ground with schemes morally equivalent to the absolutely outlawed

Minimally compliant with current regulations although knowing they are outdated and insufficient

Waltzing off to a secure bankruptcy from their superfund sites now surrounded by cancer hotspots

Sleeping well at night as your outsourcers work peasants 14 hrs a day with 20 to a bedroom

Lawyering by amoral procedural technicality, having nothing to do with charges, evidence or guilt

Paying whorish lobbyists obscene amounts to pervert the democratic process to greedy ends

Burying unrelated pork and hiding far-reaching provisions in all or nothing 10000 page legislation

Defensively bristling ‘We meet all government requirements’ after buying off any new regulation

Not counting the given up, underemployed or forced to part-time among the normal Unemployed

Replacing Tax and Spend with Borrow and Spend while calling for citizen Personal Responsibility

Confining mandated warnings to large words in small print, knowing they have no real effect

Paying them handsomely for stalling regulation by calling research into question via soundbites

Reducing requirements and inflating grades so that no child knows where they are left

Charging usurious interest and fees to credit card users as well as 3% to all the merchants

Reporting artificial News that attracts a target audience that satisfies big money advertisers

Convolutedly redrawing voting districts along party lines only to ensure future election results

Guaranteeing insider legislative influence simply by donating heavily to candidates of both sides

Maintaining a cozy political duopoly by jointly co-opting all 3^rd party movements into wackos

Gaining yearend bonuses by artificially boosting profits by merely postponing expense recognition

Lavishly rewarding conniving legal parasites who enable you to successfully evade taxes

Profitably re-imaging foolish consumer overspending into equity-financed negative savings rates

Swaddling arms marketing in gentle music and pleasant images of children and puppies

Being subsidized for defaulting on debts and benefits in the holy ruse of competitiveness

Glowingly praising the Human Resource while striving to cut labor costs in any way possible

Proudly rebranding corporate evasion, circumvention, subversion and delay as Doing the Right Thing

Totally comfortable mouthing Perfectly Legal to get richer via rule twisting and regulator buying

Thieves Manifesto

“Your house is your bank account” – That would be a Fox News Ad

That dumbass tourist has turned his back for a moment, Quick! grab that camera off their table

There’s hardly any jobs here and I cant read and I’d rather stay high than fix potholes

Shit, they got way more money than they deserve or know what to do with, anyhow

Anything we see and can get our hands on, well, it’s like this: we got the right to just take it

Those stupid government bastards are Still begging us to take tax money at zero interest

These jobless, assetless morons will sign anything for no money down and no credit check

We can make even more on phony inspections, imaginary fees and artificial closing costs

Then we’ll sell off the bogus loans to the big investment bank boys and go do it all over again

I’m so underwater on this stinking house, I won’t get any more equity out of it for years

Rolled my credit card and my vacations in there and walked out with cash at all my Refis

Now the rate’s adjusting up and house prices are going down and here I am, laid off again

Why, it’s just good financial strategy to walk away from this loser and start all over, clean again

So we pack these opaque tranches full of hand-picked, guaranteed subprime mortgage losers

Pay off our lap dog ratings agencies to say this worthless bag of shit is surely safe and TripleA rated

Sic the sales dogs on our hapless big investors with glossy brochures lined with 5 pt legalese

Hedge that bitch heavily and profit big when it proves to be just as worthless as we made it to be

Offshore them, outsource them, downsize them, but just eliminate them once and for all

After age 50, replace them with eager 3^rd world contractors and then renege on their benefits

Move production to China, support to India, incorporate in Bermuda and grab more fat bonuses

Hey, lets watch our new Ad about the Human Resource again, I really like the words and music

Got the mineral rights to our choice of federal and private lands for like 7¢ an acre

Bought off the regulators, gave out some toxic temporary jobs and by god jest got ‘er done

Expressed our shock and sadness over the poisonous damages and whined for federal help

Dropped the cleanup in the govt’t lap by cleverly declaring a phony bankruptcy & then walked away

Invented our own image of slick, fast-talking professionalism in stocks and cars and real estate

Sold them on the utter necessity of our so-called vital services and expensive but empty expertise

Convinced them that flat fees just wont motivate us, then drove up prices to get higher commissions

Hid the details, met the objections, closed them and made sure to never return their calls again

The politicians and the Godders keep em all sold on the moral necessity of constant war

Convinced them we need ever more arms even though we outspend all the rest combined

Got all the politicians so scared of being labeled Soft On Defense not even one would vote against us

And we also spin a self-sacrificing and patriotic image even as we suck a trillion out of every budget

They’ve got this inborn need to faith that’s a gaping opportunity for money and control

We’ve got these old stories which can be made to support anything we decide our cronies need

A few props, costumes, smoke, music and ceremonies provide the proper backdrop for our work

Their need to faith is our key to power, riches, control, sexual favors and their love and respect

Building Merica’s Thousand Year Reich

And thusly, would it remain forever, Morning In Merica

Believed that “change is the way of all things” is a justification for endless greedy takings

Demeaned science as fuzzy yet maintained a crystal clear vision of His paradise, awaiting us

Never took the time to make sense of things yet still wondered why the old were all so confused

Preached that market competition would efficiently & automatically solve any and all social ills

Spoke of our values and traditions as we tossed aside more valuable recyclables each and every day

Went forth multiplying blindly, blissfully righteous, given the blessings of our very own one true god

Wisely kept government out of the so-called business of habitat and species preservation

Built strong children in front of TV on factory white bread and cheap, tortured byproduct burgers

Quietly nurtured a proud illiteracy to enable our puppet leaders to simplify choices and explanations

Sold defense, banking, insurance, oil, agriculture and healthcare oligopolies our unhindered access

Made damn sure our progress wasn’t stalled by wastefully expensive environmental non-issues

Looked forward to a 1000 Year Reich powered only by ever-increasing consumer credit spending

Erected Import temple malls using illegales working with the cheapest materials available

Spent more per year than all other countries combined on defense to hold off their bogeymen

Doggedly recognized the evils of that tired socialism as it continually raised its ugly, wornout head

Mouthed ‘You can’t stop progress’ as the ultimate rationale for all our smash and grab profit

Impersonally advanced society via outsourcing engineering, production and support overseas

Gifted our sage leaders huge non-refundable bonuses based on the quarterly stock numbers

Institutionalized calls for more study as a method for defeating all forms of junk regulatory proposals

Ended each and every speech with the unashamed exceptionist demand that God Bless America

Used ‘too costly in jobs and money’ as a durable defense against any and all intrusive regulation

Entrusted our future to greed-blinded, furtive corporate leaders and their camera-hungry politicians

Called for Personal Responsibility while callously shedding pensions, debts and workers

Subsidized an unarmed takeover by illegal Hispanics as we fought a faraway war on terror

Replaced long-term planning with stall tactics until issues could be deemed too expensive to address

Hallucinated a healthy long-term economy powered only by financial services and retail sales

Denied our total reliance upon a healthy environment using the phony shibboleth of jobs and families

Piled debts upon the future even as we furiously wasted the resources they would need to pay them

Named as our Best and Brightest the vain who created quasi-mathematical financial Ponzi schemes

Ruled that externalities like water and air were not problems for either business or government

Left our soils, crops and animals to the ever monthly cost and stock price watchful evil eye of BigAg

Declared that the future would take care of itself if only left free of burdensome gov’t regulations

Divorced ourselves from natural cycles in favor of mass immersion in co-opted, vapid media trends

Infused our loud and willful ignorance with self-granted righteousness and unwarranted macho pride

Increasingly relied on overseas sources for vitals such as technology, food, drugs and consumer goods

Sarcastically belittled the stupid freaking foreigners from our exalted position as Gods chosen people

Disentangling Our White Noise

A constant background noise; especially: One that drowns out other sounds

The void left by the forgotten songbirds is seamlessly filled by smarmy advertising messages

The roaring diesel fumes wafting softly into her crib do not stir this safely sleeping urban infant

News reports of inept, corrupt and wasteful governance no longer provoke any real response

Endless sad studies are smothered behind the deafening background noise we continuously create

Wild fish are not startled by gently falling acid rain from distant hissing coal stacks

The awkward silence of a clear-cut is unnoticeable atop growling wreckreational vehicles

Nobody leaps to the rescue of croaking frogs replaced by giant, rumbling bulldozers, once again

Dirty waters and climate change now lie safely outside our self-circumscribed hearing range

Screams from the refugee camps are muffled by our shopping, work and entertainment activities

Constant identical reports of even more extinctions aren’t going to motivate anyone again

The ever-dirtier business of politics no longer galvanizes the jaded multitude even a bit

People docilely accept that in good times or bad, the rich will profiteer at their expense

Blathering leaders are not expected to solve real problems correctly, cheaply or on time

Our loud and illiterate offspring are simply part of a vast and privatizing, comforting white noise

The unfortunate are blown off behind our sunglasses, earbuds and cynically-texting smirks

Even Scot-free bailouts of unregulated legal swindlers who are ruining our lives doesn’t move us

Ever more wasteful borrow-and-spend programs cannot provoke some mighty voter wrath

Continuous broadcast of morally repugnant crimes have worn out our emotional responses

Distress cries that might otherwise slow our progress are safely obscured by a soothing traffic roar

The wise voices of our ancestors have been attenuated into the meaningless background noise

That invisible, anonymous CEOs are naturally worth their guaranteed millions is taken at face value

It is accepted that gutting our futures thru offshoring should earn them more whopping bonuses

That they merged and downsized us forever for quick profits will not set us upon them

We tacitly accept the morality of efforts to evade the spirit of our laws via compulsive loopholeing

Un-inspected, adulterated foreign food ingredients will not rouse us up off our beloved couches

Omnipresent evidence of over-population is obscured by the simple crush of so many bodies

The voice of reason is smothered by our hoarse attempt to curse over their many tangled jingles

That our own thoughts must now be produced as shouts is not perceptible to us within the din

There’s really nothing between the inaudible lines blurring advertising, news and entertainment

Our crumbling infrastructure does not decay nearly loudly enough to claim even a little attention

Endless strident sound bite repetition completely deadens the occasional quiet and reasoned debate

The deafening sound of devastating warfare drowns out those faint, weak-kneed cries for peace

Relentless repetition of myriad, simple but cleverly-coded messages digitally layers our angry brains

A world of screams and shouts and tears are melded into a featureless but high-decibel abstraction

Ungodly special effects are launched which cannot gain attention for more than a few seconds

Loud, un-syncopated random outbursts occur so fast as to blend into a surrounding roar

This deafening white noise creates our privacy and thereby we think, preserves our sanity

But the vast silence of the void that surrounds us still terrifies as it makes its now rare appearance

It’s Technical-You Pay

The service contract said that we had to pay again even though they made it worse trying to fix it

No, your contract is subject to a binding arbitration with a judge whom we alone get to choose

Technically, we owe you nothing but we have decided to cut your charges by 20%, for one month

Why, we never dreamed our house payment could triple just one year into our new ARM mortgage

Our investment instruments are so complicated that only a no-strings bailout can save your world

Experts blame a computer error for today’s lengthy and widespread technical problems

We can get you a new phone overnite but you must pay for the old one for another month as well

Regrettably, our computerized credit model has determined that we cannot modify your bad loan

All these other power adapters are incompatible but we can offer you this whole new unit, at retail

Per contract, we are not responsible for our technical difficulties resulting in your service outages

I did not understand our trading instruments so I OK’d them based solely on their profit potential

You won’t actually know the exact charge until you get your first bill, Oh, and it will vary monthly

Sir, the bottom line is that you must re-install everything and all your work and settings are lost

This hot new gizmo is perfect except for this one little piece that breaks every time on all of them

They said that it all looks fine from their end so you really shouldn't be seeing a problem on your side

It's not supposed to do that unless you change something else but nobody ever touched a thing here

His said he was Bill but I couldn’t understand him so he put me on hold and hung up after 15 minutes

Their agreement says they are not responsible if it doesn’t work or if anything else bad happens

No, I didn’t read that 12 pages of 4 point font fine print legalese, I only listened to the nice salesman

Come to find out, that expensive warranty doesn’t cover anything that ever could actually break

Never understood why the media ran exposés on the same scams that they sold commercials for

His worth to the firm was incalculable so they guaranteed him millions - even if he failed or was fired

His lawyer said he relished a chance to clear his name but yet he would make no public statements

Their peasant’s 14 hour slave wage days making things they couldn’t afford was hailed as progress

Though their HQ was in Bermuda and their factories in china, their ads were all so very American

Their stock price rose upon the announcement of further cost-cutting led by even more layoffs

He said that their unintelligible legalese was not their scam but was required by the government

It seems the recyclers are losing money since it still costs too much to reuse their free raw materials

She never considered what happened when she flipped a switch so it really was no miracle to her

Though we won’t go into the details here, if you run the numbers you can quite easily see…

This agreement states you must train your offshore replacement to qualify for any severance at all

Even if our own experts disagree on what the tax code actually states, we can fine you in any case

This undiagnosed pre-existing condition disqualifies your claim and also, we are canceling your policy

Initialing here means we cannot be held liable for any risks we downplay, ignore or don’t understand

This says you cannot sue us but it’s really just so you might not even try if something bad happens

It actually states that we can cancel your contract anytime but you have no way to ever get out of it

The Promised Good New Jobs Of Tomorrow Are Here!

Outsourcing clears the way for our workers to enjoy the better jobs of tomorrow

Smile behind the register, Put on this checkered shirt, ID on all tobacco and beer sales

Put some more gas in the mower, Scrape the paint off that window frame, Break is over

Shovel that gravel over here, Get off your ass, Put out that cigarette, Go stand over there

Vacuum that hall, Pile up them bean cans, Roll that patient over, Clean out these bedpans

Carry that ladder over there, Empty all them trash cans, Bring the rest of those plates in

Mop the floor when nobody’s here, Re-stock the candy bars, Check on the Mountain Dew

Don’t gossip with the delivery men, Don’t insult the drunks, We don’t give vacations

Go sweep up those potato chips, Pick up all them cigarette butts, Put back these tampons

Sort out the rotten vegetables, Get rid of that spoiled chicken, Clean out those cages

Now bring in the sleeper couch, Put that chest over there, Go and wash out the dumpster

Say Hello to all the customers, Count out what they give and their change, Always say Thank You

Unroll that sod over there, Shovel that sidewalk, That sink is not clean, Fumigate the hall

Tear out this old carpet, Don’t waste any paint, Pick up all those branches, No sunglasses

Don’t waste those rags, Clean that 3^rd story window, Get the snow off that overhang

Pick up the trash on the gas island, Put more hot dogs in the roaster, Don’t be so loud

Bundle up this cardboard, Get off your cell, You pay for them tools, First buy a uniform

Keep the coffee pot half full, Clean the bathroom every 2 hours, Don’t let them kids steal

Act like you’re busy, Don’t be late again, There’s no work today, Wait and wash up later

Don’t waste paper towels, Trim that bush over there, You keep off their carpet,

Park down the street, Take down your pictures, No  personal calls, Your wife isn’t covered

No internet access, Say your boss isn’t available, Just tell them you don’t make the rules

It’s company policy, Jokes are for your own time, Show Gupta here how to do your job

There’s no benefits for you contractors, Your future isn’t my problem, Grind off this rust

Stop looking bored, Take out those earbuds, Keep filling their water glasses, Be quiet now

Crawl down there and clean it out, Climb up there and get that branch, You missed a spot

Go caulk that window, Sand this some more, Take off your hat, Lose the gum

Spread this glue in the closet, scrape off this old floor, Shut up or you’re fired right now

Clean up the spill on 7, This food ain’t for you, Put on your name tag, Hide that tattoo

Don’t slap the gropers, Get your kid out of here, Go fix your hair, You need this job?

Clean them with this solvent, Break down them cartons, Brush out the pool

No radios here, Go outside to eat, Unclog that urinal, You wanna get deported?

Cut those chickens faster, Wade out and get that, Pick up the scraps, Seal this tile

Scrub under the fryer mat, Do them pots again, Go move your car, Clean these brushes

Reach down in there, Hold this for me, Get me the new one, Keep that light still

Don’t get surly with me, Spray this stuff on the weeds, Stay outside, Bring in my tools

Gonna have to let you go, Don’t come back tomorrow, Call me in a week or so

Our Outdated Fantasy Of Always More And Ever Bigger

no forest must expand every year to be considered a success

yet, if a company is not growing it is, by definition, going out of business

the seas need not strive to merge to achieve some so-called economies of scale

but we believe formulaic merge and slash somehow creates economic growth

the sunrise faces no pressure to either last longer or to perish

however, free economies must at least increase on average by 3% year after year, forever

sunsets cannot grow more and more beautiful each and every day

nonetheless, for safe long-term growth you can bet all your retirement money on the stock market

each generation is not handsomer, taller and more intelligent than the last

but the military can indefinitely continue its non-discretionary annual budget increases

no species numbers can exceed its environmental carrying capacities over time

but, extinction does not apply to man, created in god’s image, given dominion and a soul

when populations grow too large, biology teaches that they abruptly crash

the infallible and blind marketplace can sustain eternal compound growth

the catch of fish per year did not increase forever despite market demand

yet we can act like non-renewables can always be consumed at faster rates

even fast-food-fattened americans cannot perpetually grow more and more obese

faux luxury and inefficient noisy power can be combined with fuel economy and clean air

family income will not grow larger each and every quarter

yet consumer spending is the driving force behind our wondrously-booming economy

our student’s reading scores must eventually find some pathetic minimum

however, we will always put our people first, even as we continue offshoring efforts

it will not always be cheaper to destroy open land than to bulldoze shoddy junk

our faith in god will see us through the manifest development of our entire great land

evolution does not constantly produce an increasing number of new species

hurry, the biggest sales event ever is going on right now but ends tomorrow

ever larger conglomerates will not finally congeal to form a single global entity

nevertheless, let’s merge and cut staff by 20%, get our bonuses then retire, guilt-free

the future must hold less prosperity for each of us given our increasing numbers

but I’ve almost got enough held back to sign up for another new big-screen TV

plague deaths will grow in total but not as a percentage of population

population planning is a genocidal contradiction to the laws of god and the liberty of man

guess what, our children will not always have a brighter future than their parents

anyway, high-tech innovation and our military will always be there to see us through

unconstrained oil consumption will grow steadily and then must fall off quite sharply

this is no mass extinction and climate change is just as wack as any New Age nonsense

garbage per person will actually decrease with our increasing numbers

capitalism lets the entire world get rich and consume blindly like good Westerners

government cannot plan on permanent growth to hide ever higher outlays

still, now that I’m 55, I think I’ll start putting aside a bit for retirement

listen, in point of fact, the heat and drought will not last forever

our sales look good, possibly even beyond the end of the next quarterly reporting period

even our people can only swallow so many stupid lies and foolish fantasies

this new nighttime fat-burning pill really makes me feel like a million bucks

all our complex, unplanned actions yield unexpected emergent side effects

but you really cannot worry much about the future since it is beyond your control

every mass excess leads to some tipping point of no return

home mortgage funds are an obvious and absolutely safe, high-yield investment

air and water pollution will decrease at some point, in step with our decline

we will keep on praying just like we drink our beer, in both good times and bad

someday there will be no earthbound human souls striving to earn their way to heaven

my personal savior and I discuss matters of great concern to me each and every day

greenhouse gases will subside quite shortly in geologic time

efficiency and recycling are small, personal virtues of dubious social value

our ongoing progress cannot ever approach the destruction of all life on earth

combining topheavy, uncooperative bureaus into super agencies will solve many problems

the human stain will begin to fade even before its spread has ended

we envision better days stretching on forever into the happily-ever-after

we can continue piling all kinds of obvious as well as hidden public debt on the future -

though we continue to destroy their ability to pay through our thoughtless daily consumption

systems requiring compound growth are simply Ponzi perpetual motion machines

let it be known that it shall remain, fellow citizens, as always, Morning In America!

Industry Self-Regulation Not Gov’t Intrusion

Surely logging interests wouldn’t clearcut so far as to silt up the streams and ruin riparian habitat

Hog farmers will responsibly provide us with affordable chops without just dumping all the manure

Altruistic corporate leaders won’t boost profits with cheaper, un-inspected, foreign food ingredients

Surely it can’t cost us a hundred times what it costs Africans for the privilege of having a cell phone

Oil producers will surely have proven tested contingency plans and practiced emergency procedures

Factories won’t simply dump untested new chemicals just because there’s not yet a law against them

Surely banks would not bet against funds they built to fail yet still push them to good customers

Secret internal monitoring will probably prevent rogue perverted clergy from molesting our children

Insurers would never pay commissions for twisting arcane technicalities to deny costly procedures

We also don’t need government death panels making treatment decisions for good family doctors

Unregulated mountain top removal will yield us a safe and cheap, coal-based energy independence

You really can count on wise global oligarchs, meeting in secret, to craft a better world for us all

Trust selfless defense contractors to patriotically hold down costs and not invent bogeymen

Unconstrained, agribusiness will conserve water, provide safe foods and sustain our soils forever

Industries will self-regulate to reduce CO2 emissions even though it may even reduce their profits

Setting the amount of salt, calories and fats in our food is best left to corporate marketers

The Best and Brightest over there on Wall Street must be permitted unfettered financial innovation

Supply and demand will prevent invisible multinationals from strip-mining the open seas of all life

Heavy-handed rules and regulation can only cost hard-working families excessive jobs and money

Industry councils will devise voluntary guidelines to properly address virtually any issue

BigPharma wont push phony lifestyle drugs, ignore 3^rd world suffering and jack up generic prices

The informed consumer will wisely avert epidemics of obesity, diabetes and coronary disease

Lifetime judges would never actively misinterpret the constitution to misconstrue the people’s will

Monopolies, tariffs and subsidies without oversight or taxes are not the only corporate lobbying goals

Investment banks do not use their unregulated financial creativity to blackmail world markets

Lawyers would never let their ads degenerate into despicably misleading sales pitches to sufferers

Real estate professionals nobly self-monitor conflicts of interest, omissions and deceptions

Gamblers, smokers and drinkers can retain control of their lives thru Personal Responsibility

Carmakers would’ve tackled safety, economy and emissions themselves without intrusive mandates

Food conglomerates don’t need oversight for targeting kids with addiction to caffeine, sugar and fat

Merging cable providers actually does increase competition, efficiency and lowers consumer prices

A fuel of blind sociopathic greed guided by short term stock gains yields our globally optimum future

No one would dream of creating a non-profit to swindle duped donors out of contributions

Fuzzy and expensive sustainability policies lead back down the slippery slope of that failed socialism

Unfettered, untraceable access to any type of weapon is a god-given, constitutionally-enshrined right

Secretly spying on our private lives requires no oversight if we, as citizens really have nothing to hide