What Could We Possibly Tell The Kids?

How do I stop them as they are toddling towards the shore of that vulgarly poisoned pond

What do I say when they ask where all of that trash on the side of the road comes from

How do I explain why the sky is a dirty brown so often when we are riding to their school

Help me to fit the filthy homeless we see downtown into our rosy picture of family life

How do I spin this dust and grime into a happily ever after that a simple little kid can buy

I need a way to say we just can’t afford to try and deal with climate change right now

Let me convince them that baby jesus knows everything but still let that Bambi get run over

What do I say when they ask why our putrid river doesn’t look like the pretty ones on TV

I need a good story about why we have to live in this tiny apartment after our foreclosure

How do I compete with all the slick ads they have seen when we are out grocery shopping

How can I actually convince them that homework is more important than texting friends

Why should they listen to me when they see me raging so uselessly at the endless traffic

What lessons can I impart to bring sense to this vast de-construction we call our progress

What do I tell them when they show me pictures of songbirds that no longer visit our yard

Why would they need to study hard to get into college if Dad just keeps being outsourced

How do I show them that our god speaks the truth but all others are false idols to be smashed

How do I sell them that healthcare competition gives us a choice of ERs when they’re sick

Why would they want to eat anything but colorful, sugar-filled, fat-ridden, salty, fast foods

What do I tell them when they say they hate those dirty kids who don’t speak any English

How would I make them actually prefer reading to playing first person shooter games

How can I convince them that it wasn’t always just mud, garbage, broken glass and dog goo here

Help me create a story about being too tired just getting the family by to try and save the world

Give me a child’s takeaway for the shopping carts filled with castoffs being pushed on city streets

Show me how to spin this bleak joblessness into a wondrous chance to be with Daddy all day

What do I tell them when they ask me where our water comes from and our poopie goes

What am I supposed to do when their teachers fill them with guilt over our CO2 emissions

How do I weave those poor frogs with 3 legs into our family tale where everything is beautiful

Help me explain why the school says we must make them take their ‘vitamin’ every day

I need to convince them that once our garbage is out of sight it can stay out of their minds

They must internalize that we are the victims of the unplanned effects of our own scripted actions

They cannot view our grooming products as causing fish some kind of icky reproductive issues

They mustn’t connect our neighborhood runoff with the toxic brew that is nearby surface water

Let me explain to them why we must bail out the banks but not the solar companies

Work with me to show them why it’s OK to toss out so much stuff after every trip to McDonalds

Prove to them its better to go play outside than to sit snacking enjoying electronic entertainment

Sell them on employers that will discard them forever at 50 to a society of Personal Responsibility

Holistic Conservative Economic Initiatives

Forgotten quick-fixes from that Great Recession

If we can just get the banks to start lending again surely everything will bounce right back

With a few less job losses our futures will all seem just as dazzlingly bright as they always used to

When the stock market gets turned around, everything will be just peachy once again

We’ll get the housing sector moving and then we’ll be back once more on our merry way

When we unfreeze the credit markets that oh-so vital consumer spending will rebound

If we can just keep mortgage rates down good old real estate can regain its momentum

We’ll see upticks in the RV, ATV, snowmobile and boat industries when confidence returns

Families can drive to Disneyland in new Cash For Clunkers cars while paying record low gas prices

We’ve got to hold the line on utility costs so homes can be kept at 65º all summer long

Subsidizing without any strings attached the institutions we deem too big to fail should get us moving

If we can just reduce lender uncertainty over possible regulations, credit will flow freely again

We can get back to mid-morning lattes and eating out 3 times a week under such bold initiatives

Stopping well shy of any real reform will help keep the sainted investment banks afloat

We cannot threaten a fragile recovery with the ominous shadow of intrusive government regulation

Printing scads of new money should jumpstart our sacred and all-important economy, once again

If we can just get retail sales moving our cycle of consumer borrowing on Asian imports can resume

If we can just get the economy back on track, we may even be able to take up some other issues

Granting federal money at 0% interest will surely convince the big banks to lend once again

We’ll also go ahead and guarantee the loans they make with the money that we give them

Right now we just need to remain totally fixed upon increasing GDP for this current quarter

Retaining focus on core economic issues must remain our single most important priority

If we can just boost consumer confidence they’ll save us by charging more imported big-screens

We’d like to see the tweenie mall spending rate start bumping upwards once again

Jittery markets just might stabilize with massive infusions of new cash, so we’ll try it

After all the bailout have been distributed, we might even discuss gaining control of the deficit

With a little more time, surely the free market will develop a profitable healthcare solution

If we can just remove their debt, dealer and pension obligations, car builders will flourish

Postponing expensive emissions actions for just a little while will give us some breathing room

We simply need to calmly stroke those jittery markets with gentle and reassuring financial voices

Those flighty hairdressers and decorators who control stock prices just hate all this uncertainty

Providing the merest bit of economic light should quash this unproductive consumer saving trend

If we can just get back to spending more than we earn, surely we can go on living happily ever after

It Ain’t My Libtard Place

How you choose to burn the fuel you’ve by God paid for ain’t no freekin concern of mine

It ain’t none of my business how much noise your gas-powered toys jam down everbody’s ears

I shouldn’t mention that your emissions foul the air for myself and all of our descendants

I just need to shut the fuck up about your so-called recreation destroying our precious national lands

It ain’t my place to say you don’t need a shoddy but retail-outlet-sized house for 4 people

Who am I to tell you to help curb overpopulation by limiting your precious children?

How dare I suggest our traditional values to be merely some recently ginned-up political advertising?

On which socialist authority do I demand that you lose a few pounds of your pseudo-muscular fat?

I shouldn’t say that we don’t have a god-given right to cheap goods made by asian slave labor

By whose socialist decree do I try and make you go out and do some boring and stupid exercise?

It takes me a lot of gall to say your kids should learn grammar and spelling before they start texting

How dare I put the ecosystems that support us all in front of your good jobs and family welfare?

It ain’t my business if you choose to use your idling truck for an overweight personal air-conditioner

By what right do I ask you to turn down the music after you paid to get into this here campground?

it takes me a lotta cowardly nerve to say that we need to drastically reduce military spending

It’s way elitist of me to contend that you’ll only ever fight global warming with your thermostats

It ain’t my place to criticize a bailout for your over-leveraged, underwater home loan

Who gave me the authority to demand that you drive some skinny vegan electric car?

Why should I think you should take interest in world events instead of watching NFL and NASCAR?

I got no right to make you give up double meat bacon cheeseburgers or yer 40 oz, Mountain Dew

It ain’t my business that you drive alone to the cube farm in an SUV built for 8 obese adults

How dare I to mutter yer one true god don’t bless America and we really ain’t his one chosen people?

It ain’t any of my concern that Ponzi finance traders make 19000 times more than average folks

Why should I actually care if the future is over-populated, strip-mined, poisoned and always at war?

It ain’t my job to preach that we used up the resources needed to pay the debts we leave behind

Who am I to judge our closeted corporate leaders who may well be full of eternal wisdom?

Why would I think farmers know better than bonus-driven BigAg execs about sustainable methods?

What gives me the right to reset economic priorities based on junk science and fuzzy math scams?

I can’t arrest you for dropping your food wrappers and smoky butts wherever you see fit

It ain’t up to me to get all in up in your face about your comically-wornout, fairytale religions

Nobody appointed me to tell you that you waste all our resources just wasting your precious time

How can I even dare to suggest that them krauts and frenchies might possibly even have a clue?

Who told me I could pester you with this socialist nonsense of climate change and mass extinctions?

It ain’t my place to bore you with trivial details when there’s something good on the big screen

What the hell was I thinking anyway, trying to tell you what’s right and wrong for you to eat?

No need to listen when I say either all of god’s life forms have a soul or none of us actually can

Veil Of Marketing Illusion

Ongoing deep discounts, sales, clearances and special offers build a sense of permanence

Continuous anticipation of quickly-forgotten weekends, holidays and vacations sustains us

The very newest constantly beckons us forward into a quite-obviously, endless tomorrow

A thousand advertisements draw each of us warmly into that timeless consumer firelight

Soothing background music hypnotically imprints us with eternal marketing mantras

Careful spins reformat issues into sound bites that the average 3^rd grader can easily digest

Within this media immersion, we dream ourselves passing thru eternity at these daily lives

Homogenized spokesmen blend seamlessly to envelop us in an easily-accepted and secure cocoon

Our lifestyles have reached a permanent climax in the pleasure-seeking 3 minute present

We pre-consciously dismiss evidence contradicting the eternal happily-ever-after diorama

The circle of family and friends bonds us tightly to a shared dream of unending belonging

The void lies almost totally obscured and unconsidered behind our colorful veil of illusion

We need only strive thru all time at becoming the beautiful models their ads portray for us

The infinite circle of merchant-stoked holidays fosters in us a comforting notion of immortality

Together we tread the great wheel of relaxation, refreshment and entertainment

And our bright mega-churches finance a seamless transition to a familiar eternal paradise

Next week’s episodes draw us forward smoothly without any static-filled interruptions

Stopping to smell the roses as we grab the gusto while living for today totally occupies us

The unknowable actual number of our iterations allows us to assume we perform an infinite loop

Cuddly and warm images help obscure the sharply-tattered edges that we must rightly ignore

The afterlife is marketed as the ultimate in all-inclusive vacations in a truly eternal paradise

Those who pass away are expensively packaged for the exciting but safe trip to come

Our powerful mass hypnosis mostly keeps any consciousness of the eternal void at bay

The rapid pace of change obscures well the tiny hourglass filling in right over top of us

The nattering of bobbing media heads lulls us into a comfortable sense of security

Advertiser-safe news holds our focus adjusted safely inside the blinders they so cannily provide

The cartoon theme of Personal Responsibility keeps the disaffected securely in the game

Sacrificing our reason frees us from agitating contemplation of any cracks in the mirror

There is absolutely no reason to think that this consumer lifestyle cycle will ever cease

We walk this treadmill seeing a well-lit and unending path towards the happily-ever-after

Socialists and creationists equally shielded from the near absolute zero of utter black emptiness

Even on our deathbeds we rest assured of an eternal well-being within these shared illusions

Please Help The Bankers

‘To date, no executives have faced prosecution for the widespread mortgage fraud that fueled the bubble’ - billmoyers.com

We’ve got to help the bankers for they’ve always been here for us during our times of need

Stood right there fighting by our sides with us, whenever the financial seas got rough

Weren’t afraid to go to bat for us even if it meant going out on a limb in terms of their own risk

Had our best interests right next to their hearts as they wisely greased the economic skids

Helped ensure sure we stayed on track with the savings we needed for our retirement

Looked beyond their personal gain to the good of our families and our blessed land

Did not scan us merely for short-term profit potential but rather helped us as neighbors and friends

Most probably they often let deals go untaken if they did not help further community interests

Greeted us by name when we walked in and kept our home loans safely guarded, right here in town

Lived just like the other honest folks and had the same dreams as us normal families

They surely did not let computer models back at corporate HQ make their lending decisions

Now it’s our turn to help them out a bit so together we can all get back on track again

Weren’t blinded by greed for the outlandish bonuses given for ruining all of our futures

Didn’t wrap No-Income, No-Job, No-Asset loans in fake TripleA tranches to sell to insurance trusts

Wouldn’t pay clueless 20 something, so-called, financial engineers millions for CDO con schemes

Never avoided all regulation by saying it stifled their creative innovation in free financial markets

Never crowned themselves as the best and the brightest, too-big-to-fail, masters of the universe

They certainly wouldn’t use gov’t bailout money for mergers while foreclosing upon their friends

Come on everybody let’s pull together: Banks are the circulation system of a healthy economy

Anyway, we all have some problems every now and then, so please, no finger-pointing

Neighbors at your local bank actually aren’t simply puppets of greedy New York financiers

They didn’t give themselves billions in bonuses for gambling on dicey hedges and derivatives

Wouldn’t help themselves to bailout money bonuses while tightening up on your loan standards

We must help them or, as they say, it will get so much worse than you could ever imagine

Weren’t so foolish as to leverage all of us into bankruptcy based on a voodoo finance risk model

But you really can’t blame them for taking some advantage of artificially low interest rates

After all, their own loans didn’t ratchet up out of sight even before the ink was printed on the paper

Oh, no, it wasn’t them that hid old car debt in new and already underwater auto leases

They never masked home equity loans covering credit card debt as profitable re-financing plays

It wasn’t them who drove the market for penthouses and luxury goods sky high with their bonuses

They didn’t immediately dump un-scrutinized loans for a fat profit and then totally disown them

They would never have made billions hedging heavily on the failure of their very own investment funds

Our town bankers wouldn’t grant loans without credit checks and income verification

Their CEOs didn’t hide trillions in unregulated CDOs and under-audited derivatives

They didn’t collectively freeze up in fear that their peers’ secret assets were also worthless

We must help the bankers now because it’s certainly obvious that they would do the same for us

Hello, Habla Freaking Inglés

Don’t need to pay for your damn translators at the hospitals and our clinics

Traiga un amigo si no lo comprendes

Don’t want all the signs to be in multiple languages

Mira el televisor en inglés y puedes aprender

Cant afford to pay extry ta teach yas in Spanish at our underfunded schools

De todos modos, tus niños no han sido los mejores de estudiantes

And where’s the benefit to all of society, any damn way

Se cuesta mucho y se divide los ciudanos, pero no vale nada

You got no right to illegally enter and then make us use yer stupid language

Mis abuelos fueron de Europa, pero nosotros hablamos solamente inglés aquí

Hey, but go ahead and preserve it among yourselves as much as you want

¿O son Uds. simplemente perezozos?

Hear spanish for stuff to buy, but not when working with, or for, the government

Y no tienes que hacer negocios con gente que no hablan español, si no quieres

Or are you simply stupider and lazier than all the other previous immigrants?

Nosotros no teníamos la excusa que no había tiempo para aprender

We don’t need 2 languages, we have one and it’s already the world’s lingua franca

Desde que tus español no es de alta calidad, ¿porque no aprendas buen inglés?

You got way too much nerve, trying to carve out a separate society right here among us

No necesitamos un invasíon de tus cultura campesinos, ya tenemos bastante problemas

Look, we’ll adopt a few phrases and what not, but you gotta to assimilate into English

Esta no es una regla nueva directada unicamente contra Uds.

If they speak multiple languages where you came from, what were the benefits?

Y, si tienes que ir al otro pais para trabajar, tendrás la lengua que habla todo el mundo

Hasta la vista

God Granted Me This Fairytale Serenity

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”

I note, freed of that dark anxiety, the global mass extinction our over-existence nurtures every day

Calmly I accept the reality of a hotter, drier, dustier and dirtier world, where we all must live

No more do I trouble my mind over CO2 levels to which I must contribute but cannot control

I pursue zenlike tranquility, emptying my mind by flipping channels thru potentially anxious nights

Unregulated exotic chemicals in our drinking water can no longer disturb my meditative state

I placidly accept the degradation, poisoning and erosion of our precious soil by industrial agriculture

Loss of habitat does not threaten me, as I twitter safe and warm here in my techno-burrow

I gaze into that hazy and starless urban night with what I can construe to be a quiet satisfaction

There is a blind equanimity to be found in simply ignoring the poverty and suffering of others

Deep media immersion smothers and deafens any anxiety which might falsely overcome me

In a benignly-induced trance, I emptily partake of our grisly and unsustainable food chain

Verily does my true spirit rise above the ever-knottier cluster constituting our irreversible advance

God granted me the serenity to shut the hell up, bend over and take all that which I cannot change

I sagely accept that selfish vanity, greed and insecurity are key traits of modern day leaders

Endlessly repeating the simple mantra of You Cant Stop Progress properly spins my spiritual journey

I quietly condone piling debt on their futures while we waste the resources they need to pay them

I have learned that worry over our huge number of self-inflicted crises is but a false shibboleth

I can rightly get on with the future and leave our guilty past behind in a jumbled, half-forgotten blur

It is with a certain calm that I adapt the insensate gouging of good croplands into cheap stripmalls

My health and happiness have been enhanced by letting go my fuzzy and unrealistic youthful idealism

Trust in the wisdom of His inscrutable way has banished the awful uncertainty which beset me

I am able to drive right on past our decaying infrastructure without even a second thought

A vision of the seas as stripmined, unregulated dumps can no longer perturb my cauterized emotions

No more must I futilely obsess over our sacred, morbidly-bloated, utterly-wasteful military budget

I lost fear of bearing personal-responsibility for my own uninsured health and scam-complex finances

I simply cast aside the burden of wasted anger over our people’s ignorance, illiteracy and attitude

That I must work until at least 70 but will be laid off for good at 50 no longer fills me with dread

With the sublime detachment granted me by my meds I disassociate myself from humanity’s future

I have made a lasting peace with all the eternal, random, angry and empty noise we produce

Internalizing the temporal nature of our vast wastefulness allows me to see far without seeing it

Accepting our unique possession of eternal souls has revealed the wisdom of our divine dominion

Now I can embrace my tenured dull manager who remains willfully ignorant and bristles with venality

I can blandly cope with their artificially-induced stress over arbitrary deadlines on useless projects

I have been imparted the ability to disagree with a silence that they act upon as my tacit acceptance

It has come as a relief to see how easily I place ever more on that big pile of things I cannot change

God has granted me the wisdom to overlook, ignore, compartmentalize or be far too busy for