Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Promised Good New Jobs Of Tomorrow Are Here!

Outsourcing clears the way for our workers to enjoy the better jobs of tomorrow
Smile behind the register, Put on this checkered shirt, ID on all tobacco and beer sales
Put some more gas in the mower, Scrape the paint off that window frame, Break is over
Shovel that gravel over here, Get off your ass, Put out that cigarette, Go stand over there
Vacuum that hall, Pile up them bean cans, Roll that patient over, Clean out these bedpans

Carry that ladder over there, Empty all them trash cans, Bring the rest of those plates in
Mop the floor when nobody’s here, Re-stock the candy bars, Check on the Mountain Dew
Don’t gossip with the delivery men, Don’t insult the drunks, We don’t give vacations
Go sweep up those potato chips, Pick up all them cigarette butts, Put back these tampons

Sort out the rotten vegetables, Get rid of that spoiled chicken, Clean out those cages
Now bring in the sleeper couch, Put that chest over there, Go and wash out the dumpster
Say Hello to all the customers, Count out what they give and their change, Always say Thank You
Unroll that sod over there, Shovel that sidewalk, That sink is not clean, Fumigate the hall

Tear out this old carpet, Don’t waste any paint, Pick up all those branches, No sunglasses
Don’t waste those rags, Clean that 3rd story window, Get the snow off that overhang
Pick up the trash on the gas island, Put more hot dogs in the roaster, Don’t be so loud
Bundle up this cardboard, Get off your cell, You pay for them tools, First buy a uniform

Keep the coffee pot half full, Clean the bathroom every 2 hours, Don’t let them kids steal
Act like you’re busy, Don’t be late again, There’s no work today, Wait and wash up later
Don’t waste paper towels, Trim that bush over there, You keep off their carpet,
Park down the street, Take down your pictures, No  personal calls, Your wife isn’t covered

No internet access, Say your boss isn’t available, Just tell them you don’t make the rules
It’s company policy, Jokes are for your own time, Show Gupta here how to do your job
There’s no benefits for you contractors, Your future isn’t my problem, Grind off this rust
Stop looking bored, Take out those earbuds, Keep filling their water glasses, Be quiet now

Crawl down there and clean it out, Climb up there and get that branch, You missed a spot
Go caulk that window, Sand this some more, Take off your hat, Lose the gum
Spread this glue in the closet, scrape off this old floor, Shut up or you’re fired right now
Clean up the spill on 7, This food ain’t for you, Put on your name tag, Hide that tattoo

Don’t slap the gropers, Get your kid out of here, Go fix your hair, You need this job?
Clean them with this solvent, Break down them cartons, Brush out the pool
No radios here, Go outside to eat, Unclog that urinal, You wanna get deported?
Cut those chickens faster, Wade out and get that, Pick up the scraps, Seal this tile

Scrub under the fryer mat, Do them pots again, Go move your car, Clean these brushes
Reach down in there, Hold this for me, Get me the new one, Keep that light still
Don’t get surly with me, Spray this stuff on the weeds, Stay outside, Bring in my tools
Gonna have to let you go, Don’t come back tomorrow, Call me in a week or so

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