Friday, July 15, 2011

Traditional Family Values, Copyright© USA


The right to morbid obesity is one thing I know we fought for way back during the Big One
Our forefathers most certainly would stretch their unemployment checks farther, down to Wal*Mart
We’ve sent our pre-diabetic and amoral children to simply be warehoused at schools for generations
The holy bible has always fostered a willful ignorance resulting in our ongoing righteous intolerance

Guzzling cheap beer from automated factories is a time-honored tradition we intend to honor forever
The founding fathers too, waltzed away from pointless credit card, ARM and HELOC debts
American families have been perpetually alert against big government healthcare takeovers
We’ve always relied on cheap imports built by slaves to artificially raise our offshored living standard

It is a time-honored tradition to graze on sugar, salt and fat before littering its plastic packaging
And daddy still brings home the ritual Double-meat-bacon-cheeseburgers for his nuclear family
Really, we’ve always only wanted giant, inefficient, over-priced road hogs, built to wear out quickly
Physical inactivity is another one of freedom’s rewards we all enjoy, but too often take for granted

The right to randomly produce loud noise during witless wreckreation shall not be taken from us
Like those who came before us, we can carry concealed weapons to church for self-protection
Good families have passed down obesity, heart disease and high blood pressure thru the ages
Our traditional family values truly are not some new ad campaign spouted by rightwing media heroes

A scornful pride in their illiteracy runs deep among those who have always answered freedom’s call
Yankee ingenuity lives on in our innovative outsourcing of design, production and support
Laying stuporous for hours, bathed in vapid electronic images, is a time-honored practice
Abusing successive waves of immigrants goes all the way back to our revered colonial times

Twisting literal scripture has encased us in a thought-relieving faith since time immemorial
Our native practicality and common sense have always protected us against that junk science
Pointless Spartan thrift was replaced by go-go, negative savings rate consumerism centuries ago
Unregulated, leveraged development progress shows the vitality of our hallowed personal freedoms

Factory institutionalization of their parents has long been a rite of passage for those of middle age
We have forever parroted as revealed truth the soundbites of smarmy, overpaid talking heads
Consumer spending and financial services have always been the true engines of our great economy
Long have we ignored the source of the food we graze upon and the energy we thoughtlessly waste

We hold as self-evident that every child should get shiny medals and not be left behind
The longstanding right to finance electronic gizzies shall not be abridged by socialist thrifties
Self-responsibility has ever been required when cast aside at 50 by the faceless multinationals
Preemptively-defensive wars of liberation have been our hallowed right, throughout our history

We’ve always had to decipher deliberately smallprint legalese to wager upon our retirements
We, too, are prepared to tithe 40% of all of our life savings to healthcare during our last year
A/C, heat, light, media, malls, cars and phones remain, as ever, part of our enduring heritage
Mindlessly chanting flavored slogans shall forever remain the way we cope with unnerving complexity

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