I’m a skinny vegan outlaw trained on green salads who got
whupped by angry steroid shooters
Attacked with only my meditative silence and was drowned out
by the social media buzz
Found that all my careful recycling had been so jimmied up
that it just made stuff cost more
Asked could they just please enforce the laws as I stood
quietly outside of their closed doors
I set them factory chickens free but they was too modified
to fly and too heavy to walk away
Tore the Cheetos right from them fat little kids orange
fingers and they commenced to swearin
Tried to give em broccoli and carrots but they stoned me
with em like some Taliban adulteress
Smoked that organic weed a quarter puff at a time and lost
all my focus on our nation’s enemies
Jacked up my Hybrid, painted it camouflage and played an mp3
of a diesel pickup truck real loud
Stayed right on the edge of the road even though they
threatened my bike with their big SUVs
Defiantly sought food with less salt, sugar and fat, though
I wondered why it cost so much more
Spoke right up about feedlots and slaughterhouses but only
drew a volley of sardonic laughter
Took to savin water on my lawn until the home owners
association threatened me with foreclosure
Conservatives wrote me off to the lunatic fringe for dissing
unregulated factory fishing fleets
Was arrested for Duty Interference when I told two fat cops
that donuts led to diabetes
Actually refused free beer if it was that hyped factory
sewage pimped by the NFL and NASCAR
Stopped my angry macho posturing as that tofu shrank my
muscles and softened my brain
Even cast away my suits and ties, deodorants, shower gels,
teeth whiteners and body lotions
No All-Natural chicken fingers or dyed and processed,
artificially-smoked meat byproduct logs for me
Couldnt drink anything but a little red wine once them
one-worlders was done re-educatin me
Grew blind and deaf to grave terrorist threats due to my
narrow focus on local sustainability
Offered the obese some fresh fruit but they just threw it
down beside their empty soda cans
People-to-people outreach punctured the hot-air boogeymen
hydra they floated all around us
Ate the snow that landed on my tongue even though TV said it
was loaded with modern toxins
Was smirkingly-ignored for condemning landfills full of fast
food castoffs, aluminum and glass
Branded Soft On Defense for noting that we spend more than
all the other countries combined
Turned off my TV but kept on paying for cable, left my
cellphone at home for $100 a month
Reared back on my hind legs and even refused to memorize
sports stats and catchy ad slogans
They briefly observed my quiet contemplation and knowingly
pronounced it boring and stupid
Dreamed of beating their lame, noisy, smoking ATVs and
snowmachines into tiny electric cars
Sure, I stopped taking them sawdust fiber supplements and
adulterated Chinese multivitamins
Crazily mouthed off right in public that if the animals dont
have no souls, then neither do we
Recklessly wanted to gamble all of our futures on clean
energy and sustainable agriculture
Got so far out as to even begin to ask why illegal workers
got arrested but not their bosses
Reneged on my patriotic duty to charge ever more useless
shit I did not need and could not afford
Passively rejected the whole wack scenario by flouting their
One True God’s edict to multiply
No comments:
Post a Comment